Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Norwegian Wood

Apparently keen to catch up on their Nordic cousins in the happiness stakes, Norway has come up with a bizarre combination of environmentalism and sex to motivate eco-friendly behaviours. Instead of hugging trees, young Norwegian greens find some trees and then do some very vigorous hugging of their own in their midst, for the benefit of the cameras. The results are then posted to fuckforforest.com.

The logic of the site seems to be as follows:
- Potential lumberjacks log on to fuckforforest.com to view the porn
- Visitors unconsciously come to associate trees with pleasure as they flick at speed through pic after pic to find one where the bird’s tits aren’t obscured by shrubbery
- They then masturbate like wild monkeys until, all passion spent, they deflate across their keyboards, too enervated to lift any other variety of chopper.

Mission accomplished! Another tree saved, for just the cost of a roll of film, a condom and a bit of nettle rash.

Of course, one can’t rule out the possibility that these Norwegian nudes are just having a sly dig at their Swedish neighbours and their bloody IKEA pine flatpacks. Even so, you have to admire their commitment, especially the men. Running around naked in so cold a climate is hardly likely to be flattering to the poor dears...


The fine folk of fuckforforest.com do their bit for the environment, yesterday. Make love not furniture.

26 comments:

RodW said...

I was tempted to enter the site to find out what all the fuss is about, but the front page warning says-

"If you are underage or get offended by love or truth, you better exit this site now. "

Well I'm none of these things, but it sounds a bit too much like a dare so I thought “fuck you” to such blatant peer pressure and closed the link.

Let me know if it actually is worth a look and I might lighten up.

PS. At least we can be thankful the Germans didn't think of this first.

Desargues said...

Actually, the Germans undress for no reason at all, and on a large and systematic scale. It's called Freikorperkultur--FKK, or free body culture, and it's generally practiced with the sort of earnest enthusiasm characteristic of that nation. A collective, national yearning for the freedom from clothes seems to be the mark of an ethnos harnessed by all too many inhibitions.

When it comes to protecting the environment, it's a matter best regulated by the federal government in Germany, and the brave citizenry recycles with grim determination. Here in North America, my two German housemates often try to recycle even the soiled, greasy pizza boxes we get from Papa John's. Now that they've given up on conquering Europe, they must have decided to win the War on Garbage.

Preposterous as they may be, the folks at FKK are not without some sense of appreciation for the beauty of the female body. At least they don't... erm... clothe themselves in the self-righteous activism of their neighbors to the north-west.

R. Sherman said...

Of course, to get to the forest in the first place, they had to drive there in an SUV the size of an M-1A Abrams tank, thereby contributing to Global Climate Change.

Really, I find it amazing that people will film themselves in such acts, therby preserving the deed(s) for posterity, much less posting it on the internet.

One wonders what will happen years from now, when their pimply teenaged offspring happen upon the photos of Mom's "limbs" spread open for humanity.

Sheesh.

P.S. I would have thought this was a "Site of the Week" contender.

R. Sherman said...

Des, you're absolutely correct, although in my experience, the larger the German body, the smaller the swimsuit.

Cheers.

Kieran said...

That girl is unashamedly ginger. It's an outrage.

Seamus said...

"One wonders what will happen years from now, when their pimply teenaged offspring happen upon the photos of Mom's "limbs" spread open for humanity."

This is going to be a pretty prevalent problem though, with the advent of myspace and that. Incidentally, have the slightly terrifying Lynx ads featuring "Dies Irae" used without apparent irony (or respect to the superior blog of that name) crossed the atlantic? See this and this

Don't know what they mean about being only shown once in the UK - in Ireland, which for televisual purposes is essentially an integral part of the union, they're always on.

Aunty Marianne said...

I'd be really really worried about the nettle rash.

And splinters.

Oooooh.

PI said...

aunty marianne - i read that as sphincters.
I have to say that on occasion, in total privacy - well almost - i have felt fresh air all over and also water in a pool and it is the most lovely feeling. If only on ecould do it all the time with no-one around.

f:lux said...

And I thought the recent 'Media slammed for climate porn' stuff in the press lately was bad enough.

So FFF is sort of, lie back and think of the Amazon? Or Sherwood, Epping, Birnam even? Nah. This is just the smutty version of World Jump Day, surely?

Aunty Marianne - mosquitos!

Ivan the Terrible said...

f:lux - I see your mosquitoes and raise you ticks :)

PI said...

Ivan that goes so well with the fag in yout mouth. Made me giggle.

Desargues said...

Ivan's British readership need to be advised that the phrase "fag in one's mouth" is laden with conotations across the Atlantic.

Or maybe the pun was intended? Horribile dictu.

f:lux said...

Pi, your sphincter misread made me giggle too but you look so angelic I didn't know how to politely say so!

Prince Ivan, you've obviously been far deeper into the forest than I so you win hands down... especially as I can't spell mosquitoes.

Desargues, I'll leave you to sort that one out with Pi.

Ivan the Terrible said...

I was wondering when I spelt that word whether I had it right. Wouldn't want to get mistaken for Dan Quayle.

Des, be reassured that only British fags have been in my mouth. Yes, that's the pun that keeps on giving...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I tried to visit to see what all the fff fuss was about, but when I got to the site I was advised to "Enter Member". Well, I don't have one and my husband was busy so I never got past their verdant portal. Although Kieran seems to have and said it was more of a ginger portal.

Ivan the Terrible said...

How sad to see gingerphobia raising its ugly head again. I'm very disappointed in you, Sam.

Contrary to popular belief, gingers do have souls, you know. Small, pasty, freckled ones, admittedly, but souls none the less.

Seamus said...

Good to see someone else sticking up for ginger rights (yes, one walks among ye, although in the last few years my hair is more russet-brown) If you prick us do we not bleed (red blood, perhaps unsurprisingly)

PI said...

Sam isn't a leg a member?

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Hey, I'm no ginger-basher. I was merely referring to Kieran's comment.

One of my best friends at school was a really carroty ginger and when I saw her fall over once she most definitely did bleed. So see I KNOW they're human with thoughts and feelings and rights an' that.

Desargues said...

Redhead women are hot.

Ivan, looks like there's someone else who shares your obsession with La Clinton. This guy, however, is bent on taking it to pathological extremes.

Ivan the Terrible said...

That's not Hillary, Des - that's 3H!

Lucky for you she isn't a redhead...

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