See? This is what happens when you guys keep rabbiting on about certain religious minorities in the comments…
Showing posts with label Do not adjust your set. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Do not adjust your set. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Cock-blogged
Creeping horror disturbs my rest, as whenever I try to migrate to the new blogger beta it tells me I can’t do it. Anyone know what’s going on there? I’m beginning to feel put upon. Maybe I’ve been blacklisted?
See? This is what happens when you guys keep rabbiting on about certain religious minorities in the comments…
See? This is what happens when you guys keep rabbiting on about certain religious minorities in the comments…
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Googlewank
Recent searches that have led people to this blog (with ranking in brackets):
I must say, I’m particularly proud of “woman getting humped by a horse”. And with this post I have a fair chance of number one spot with “jumping jews getting humped by gay circus lion”. Always a popular topic in my neck of the woods.
My work here is done. I think I’ll take the rest of the day off…
Catherine the Great, yesterday - Google’s #8 reference for “woman getting humped by a horse”. Poor dear – it’s all anyone ever remembers about her…
“woman getting humped by a horse” (#9)
“jumping jews of jerusalem” (#1)
"stupid pet tricks" (#1)
“as gay as dad's hatband” (#3)
“and the lion shall lie down next to the lamb” (#3)
"He is risen indeed" (#3)
"in 1900, 1/3 of all automobiles in New York City" (#1) – a suspiciously exact quote, ‘til I remember the source (Snapple Real Facts)
“piccalilli circus” (#3)
“spartan boy let fox eat internal organs” (#3)
"elevators are for democrats" (#10)
“everyone has the face he deserves orwell” (#4)
“streichholzschächtelchen” (#4)
“Couvade Syndrome” (#4)
…and last but not least
“australian digaradoo” (sic) (#2)
I must say, I’m particularly proud of “woman getting humped by a horse”. And with this post I have a fair chance of number one spot with “jumping jews getting humped by gay circus lion”. Always a popular topic in my neck of the woods.
My work here is done. I think I’ll take the rest of the day off…
Catherine the Great, yesterday - Google’s #8 reference for “woman getting humped by a horse”. Poor dear – it’s all anyone ever remembers about her…
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Technical Fault
For some reason I can't seem to get pictures to load today, which makes the planned post entirely pointless, so I'll save that for another day.
In other news, it turns out that it wasn't a hangover I had yesterday, which is a relief given how little I actually drank. Instead, it seems the Terribles have had another visit from the stomach bug fairy. Our middle boy went under on Friday, and the others dropped one after the other yesterday afternoon, even as I tottered to my feet. This morning it was the wife's turn, and the house is now a scene of such Breugelian horror that I would not dare share the images even if I had a way to load them.
Normal service will (hopefully) be restored tomorrow. In the meantime, if I were you, I'd go disinfect thoroughly after reading this...
In other news, it turns out that it wasn't a hangover I had yesterday, which is a relief given how little I actually drank. Instead, it seems the Terribles have had another visit from the stomach bug fairy. Our middle boy went under on Friday, and the others dropped one after the other yesterday afternoon, even as I tottered to my feet. This morning it was the wife's turn, and the house is now a scene of such Breugelian horror that I would not dare share the images even if I had a way to load them.
Normal service will (hopefully) be restored tomorrow. In the meantime, if I were you, I'd go disinfect thoroughly after reading this...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Sick
Today I am sick, so I’m off to church to pray for a cure. And also to cough over all those little rodents in the Sunday School who keep giving me their damned stomach bugs. Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord – I shall repay…
Thank God for small mercies – at least it’s not a workday.
Courtesy of Zeppotron…
Thank God for small mercies – at least it’s not a workday.
Courtesy of Zeppotron…
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Fear this, and tremblingly obey…
Further to Google’s recent capitulation, more high-tech leaders are identified as having made their own pacts with the ChiCom devil.
Microsoft, Skype, News Corporation, Cisco, Sun Microsystems, and Nortel Networks join Google in the dock. At least Yahoo didn’t attempt to airbrush its own name from the list. If it was a secret policeman it would be up for an award by now, having recently helped bag its second journalist. The upshot is that the US Government and many dedicated democracy activists are spending taxes and the donations of ordinary Americans to break spyware and firewalls built and maintained by American companies.
Some of these captains of digital industry argue before Congress that they have no choice if they are to have access to the Chinese market. They also point out that if they don’t respect Chinese law, the Chinese are less likely to respect those laws around copyright and patents upon which technology companies rely.
Copyright and patent protection vs 20 years in a gulag. If our business and political leaders can’t see the difference then we the people had better keep a tight grip on our constitution as well as our wallets. If we can’t sell nukes or anthrax or advanced satellite gear to the ChiComs, why are the technology companies allowed to sell them the weapon of ignorance? The Soviet Bloc eventually collapsed from within, and it was knowledge of the free world that slew the beast, not the M-1 Abrams.
China is a pre-Judaeo-Christian dictatorship where politics and business operate in a state of nature and only might is right. The West, on the other hand, is largely post-Judaeo-Christian now, and our cultural norms are increasingly detached from their ancient moorings. Leave a ship unmoored and it will drift with the tide – no prizes for guessing which way it’s flowing at the moment.
Obviously we can’t rely on CEOs or politicians to show the integrity and self-restraint of a snapping turtle. The Chinese government certainly won’t. As long as that’s true, technology can’t fix the problem. But as culture is the real root cause here, perhaps that’s where we need to focus. There are somewhere between 55 and 90 million Christians in China, Catholic and Protestant, and more every day. And God knows we need them to hold their government to account before our own sells us down the river. You want to safeguard democracy and freedom of speech? Find a mission to China and donate.
Some saviours of Western civilization, yesterday.
Microsoft, Skype, News Corporation, Cisco, Sun Microsystems, and Nortel Networks join Google in the dock. At least Yahoo didn’t attempt to airbrush its own name from the list. If it was a secret policeman it would be up for an award by now, having recently helped bag its second journalist. The upshot is that the US Government and many dedicated democracy activists are spending taxes and the donations of ordinary Americans to break spyware and firewalls built and maintained by American companies.
Some of these captains of digital industry argue before Congress that they have no choice if they are to have access to the Chinese market. They also point out that if they don’t respect Chinese law, the Chinese are less likely to respect those laws around copyright and patents upon which technology companies rely.
Copyright and patent protection vs 20 years in a gulag. If our business and political leaders can’t see the difference then we the people had better keep a tight grip on our constitution as well as our wallets. If we can’t sell nukes or anthrax or advanced satellite gear to the ChiComs, why are the technology companies allowed to sell them the weapon of ignorance? The Soviet Bloc eventually collapsed from within, and it was knowledge of the free world that slew the beast, not the M-1 Abrams.
China is a pre-Judaeo-Christian dictatorship where politics and business operate in a state of nature and only might is right. The West, on the other hand, is largely post-Judaeo-Christian now, and our cultural norms are increasingly detached from their ancient moorings. Leave a ship unmoored and it will drift with the tide – no prizes for guessing which way it’s flowing at the moment.
Obviously we can’t rely on CEOs or politicians to show the integrity and self-restraint of a snapping turtle. The Chinese government certainly won’t. As long as that’s true, technology can’t fix the problem. But as culture is the real root cause here, perhaps that’s where we need to focus. There are somewhere between 55 and 90 million Christians in China, Catholic and Protestant, and more every day. And God knows we need them to hold their government to account before our own sells us down the river. You want to safeguard democracy and freedom of speech? Find a mission to China and donate.
Some saviours of Western civilization, yesterday.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Cobblers update!
Google shares suddenly nosedive 20%. Aren’t you glad I use my powers for Good?
I wouldn’t bother waiting for the stock to turn around. They’ll be a smoking crater this time tomorrow, after all.
A smoking crater yesterday. Purely illustrative, you understand.
I wouldn’t bother waiting for the stock to turn around. They’ll be a smoking crater this time tomorrow, after all.
A smoking crater yesterday. Purely illustrative, you understand.
Cobbler, stick to thy last
Google – corporate motto: “Do No Evil” – has been giving the world an interesting public demonstration of ethical Twister as it defies the US Govt on national security, but caves to the Chinese on censorship. Another red letter day for the West’s decadent cultural relativism. Google is lauded to the skies for taking a stand on civil liberties in its own country (where no gulags await its chief executives), but when faced with the determination of a foreign dictatorship to keep their befuddled masses safely corralled within the party line it folds faster than Superman on laundry day.
Nietzsche warned us that “if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”. Now we at Vertucon (corporate motto: “An Evil Corporation”™) have a lot of time for Nietzsche. For a start, he’s German, and so pretty much guaranteed to be evil. But even the Tooth Fairy would have to give him some credence on this point. It’s axiomatic in physics too that every interaction, even observation, involves a change in both parties - a subtle drawing together, an unconscious compromise. Well, Google just compromised. Maybe China did too, but there’s umpty-two billion of them, and only a few thousand bucktoothed geeks at Google. When an asteroid swings past Jupiter, who do you think moves more?
Since Teddy Roosevelt’s time, Democracy has been accepted by the super-rich as the price they paid for stability and prosperity. If the Chinese go on like this, and succeed in creating a rich, free-market totalitarianism, how long before all our cherished rights and liberties are withdrawn from us here? Yet the Dems, MoveOn.org, Michael Moore and all those other crusading fatheads let the story die without comment. Like the British at Singapore, the Left have all their guns pointing in the wrong direction.
But fear not. While we at Vertucon normally take a relaxed view of others’ indiscretions, even we have our standards. For a start, Red China is ruthless and oppressive in its pursuit of total world domination, and frankly we don’t need the competition. In any case, tho’ it might be a bit unfashionable in today’s post-modern world, we take this whole Good and Evil thing very seriously at Vertucon. Demarcation should be observed. They don’t build any Doomsday Machines, and we don’t rescue kittens from canals or feed the homeless (unless it’s with the aforementioned kittens, which is a special case). So when a bunch of supposedly goody-two-shoes hippies like Google start sucking up to the ChiComs we have a right to feel that they are stepping onto our turf.
There’s no love lost between us anyway. We’re neighbours in that dusty, dessicated corporate parking lot known as Silicon Valley, and their employees are forever nicking all the best spots in the car park. Also they keep rearranging the letters of our motto, which wouldn’t be so bad if they were actually any good at anagrams. So far the best attempts they could come up with are PREVARICATION LOON, NAPOLEON AIR VICTOR, and COVARIATE LOIN PORN (which admittedly is probably very funny if you’re a Googly maths wonk). We would’ve done the same to theirs but they have fewer letters, and also dreaming up anagrams is too much like hard work.
So instead we’re just going to incinerate them with a giant frickin’ laser. Little do they know that, as they pore over their nerdy algorithms, our revenge draws ever nearer. No man knoweth the hour – but it shall be soon, soon…
Note to self: sell all Google stock before Thursday lunchtime.
Google headquarters yesterday, as seen from space. Just ignore those crosshairs, guys…
Nietzsche warned us that “if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”. Now we at Vertucon (corporate motto: “An Evil Corporation”™) have a lot of time for Nietzsche. For a start, he’s German, and so pretty much guaranteed to be evil. But even the Tooth Fairy would have to give him some credence on this point. It’s axiomatic in physics too that every interaction, even observation, involves a change in both parties - a subtle drawing together, an unconscious compromise. Well, Google just compromised. Maybe China did too, but there’s umpty-two billion of them, and only a few thousand bucktoothed geeks at Google. When an asteroid swings past Jupiter, who do you think moves more?
Since Teddy Roosevelt’s time, Democracy has been accepted by the super-rich as the price they paid for stability and prosperity. If the Chinese go on like this, and succeed in creating a rich, free-market totalitarianism, how long before all our cherished rights and liberties are withdrawn from us here? Yet the Dems, MoveOn.org, Michael Moore and all those other crusading fatheads let the story die without comment. Like the British at Singapore, the Left have all their guns pointing in the wrong direction.
But fear not. While we at Vertucon normally take a relaxed view of others’ indiscretions, even we have our standards. For a start, Red China is ruthless and oppressive in its pursuit of total world domination, and frankly we don’t need the competition. In any case, tho’ it might be a bit unfashionable in today’s post-modern world, we take this whole Good and Evil thing very seriously at Vertucon. Demarcation should be observed. They don’t build any Doomsday Machines, and we don’t rescue kittens from canals or feed the homeless (unless it’s with the aforementioned kittens, which is a special case). So when a bunch of supposedly goody-two-shoes hippies like Google start sucking up to the ChiComs we have a right to feel that they are stepping onto our turf.
There’s no love lost between us anyway. We’re neighbours in that dusty, dessicated corporate parking lot known as Silicon Valley, and their employees are forever nicking all the best spots in the car park. Also they keep rearranging the letters of our motto, which wouldn’t be so bad if they were actually any good at anagrams. So far the best attempts they could come up with are PREVARICATION LOON, NAPOLEON AIR VICTOR, and COVARIATE LOIN PORN (which admittedly is probably very funny if you’re a Googly maths wonk). We would’ve done the same to theirs but they have fewer letters, and also dreaming up anagrams is too much like hard work.
So instead we’re just going to incinerate them with a giant frickin’ laser. Little do they know that, as they pore over their nerdy algorithms, our revenge draws ever nearer. No man knoweth the hour – but it shall be soon, soon…
Note to self: sell all Google stock before Thursday lunchtime.
Google headquarters yesterday, as seen from space. Just ignore those crosshairs, guys…
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