Exciting news for harassed husbands as the new lingerie store concept of Retail Design student Wendy Rameckers is unveiled in Amsterdam. She presents her brainwave at the Shop NL! trade fair together with 5 other students of the Retail & Interior Design Course.
And what an unveiling it is, for her big idea is basically a wall of breasts. "Most men have a selective memory," she explains. "They know all about their car, but never seem to know their wife's bra size. "When trying to buy a sexy bra for their wife or girlfriend, usually they point to other women in the shop or, when asked about size, they say 'een handje vol' (a handful). It’s hopeless."
“But now, with this wall of fake breasts, male shoppers will find things much easier. The wall consists of rows of silicon breasts in all sizes, from tiny to enormous, with a very natural look and feel. All the man has to do is walk along the rows, looking at and touching the breasts until he finds the size he recognizes. What could be easier?”
When the right size is found, the flushed yet happy customer can select a matching bra in long aisles with clear signage, based on the design of aisles in car parts stores.
Sadly key questions are left unanswered. Will there be absorbent flooring for the puddles of drool? Will sticking your head between the ersatz wobblies and going numnumnumnumnum be a valid method of comparison? Is the wall specially reinforced for Aunty M-style “supernork” sizes? Most grievous omission of all, there is no word on how much it would cost just to buy the wall, which may very well be considerably cheaper than the lingerie.
If I had one of those walls, there’s a very real danger that I’d never leave the house. Good thing I’m more of a bum man, myself…
Some breasts yesterday. Who needs bras, after all?