Friday, April 14, 2006

Wrangler – that’s what’s going on…

Shock and disappointment reign among the Incarcerated-American community as Brokeback Mountain is ruled too hot for prison. Authorities feel that there is a danger of the film inciting undesirable behaviour among the population. Well, duh. God knows one doesn’t begrudge these unhappy souls a little porn, but they could at least make it hetero, if only to make showering marginally safer. It follows that Brokeback Mountain is a non-starter, likewise Lord of the Rings and anything with Meryl Streep in it.

What caught my eye was that it turns out that the heroes of this epic tale are not in fact cowboys, but “sheep wranglers” – ie, shepherds. Suddenly the whole premise becomes that much more comforting and familiar. Healthy masculinity emerges unscathed – this is just another story of shepherds doing what shepherds have always done when their charges are playing hard to get. I dare say they’d’ve filmed it in Wales if it ever stopped raining there.


In other news, Director Ang Lee finally reveals the inspiration behind the film’s name. “It’s broody obvious, innit?” he explained to puzzled reporters, “It’s about these two brokes…”

9 comments:

PI said...

Thanks Ivan - that made me laugh. I trust you are back in the bosom once more. Enjoy!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well at least the ewes will be safe if they're gay. And the rams can defend themselves.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Thanks Pi - yes, I'm back home safe and sound, and the kids are coughing and sniffling all over me so I can catch up on the various bugs I've missed in my absence. I'm safe here in the office, but when I go home I'll be knocked for six for the weekend, yet again.

GB, if only it were that simple for those poor rams. Have you any idea what the shepherds make them do? The old Ripping Yarns joke about beating the headmaster doesn't begin to cover it. No wonder rams are traditionally bad-tempered...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

There was outrage on the island of Lewis when "Brokeback Mountain" was released. Cries of "Plagiarism!" and "They weren't tall and handsome(ish) at all!" resounded through the streets of Stornoway as it was revealed that Annie Proulx had lifted the story straight off a Tolastadh A Chaolais croft. Mr Murdo MacIver and his friend Mr. Alec-Iain MacLeod were unavailable for comment, but Angusina, a sheep interviewed By The Side Of The Road, Callanish, said "It's all true! I saw with mine own eyes. I came across them, unexpectedly, over the crest of a hill. Murdo was taking Alec-Iain to the top of the mountainside and showing him the other side IF you take my meaning. (sheep appears to attempt some winking). We're all praying for them even though we know they're going to burn in hell. Why can't they just suppress their unnatural urges and drink too much like everyone else?"

Ivan the Terrible said...

That Angusina sounds jealous to me. So sad...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

She was. Everyone in Lewis knows she's a wooly wee tart. Kathy-Mabel told me that she purposely jerks when having her fleece shorn so that the clipper slips and she ends up with intriguing wee patches of pink to flash Saturday night at the fank. She got the idea after reading "Memoirs Of A Geisha" and the nape of the neck thing geishas do with their make-up to drive the Japanese men wild. Apparantly, it works and the rams get horny too.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I too am getting a sniffly bug. I send you Commiserations and gentle lotion-added tissues.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Scary that Hebridean sheep put more time and research into attracting the men than the women do. Did you ever read Memoirs of a Geisha yourself?

Lotion-added tissues could be the next-best thing, tho'...

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money