Friday, September 22, 2006

Ivan’s Site of the Week

This week, why not sample the manifold pleasures of Crap Towns by The Idler?

The possibilities are endless. Look up your own, or learn about others. Plan your next holiday via a process of elimination. After all, if your destination is on this list, chances are you’re not going to want to go there. Or at least you won’t want to after you’ve looked it up. Think of all the money you’ll save.

Thanks to this site, I now know that I was born in a low level concrete disaster, full of anorak-clad deformed pensioners… one of the few places I know of that you can still buy a lime green shell suit, and grew up in a town full of grubby drunks, Poundsaver shops, middle-aged Goths, and… seething towers of adidas trash. Explains a lot, really…

What’s your nomination for crappest town?


Crap Towns, yesterday – also available in book form for the truly discriminating nihilist.

17 comments:

R. Sherman said...

I don't know about towns, but the crappiest holiday was canoe trip upon which my then girlfriend insisted coming. It rained. She blamed me. For an entire week.

Cheers.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Middlesborough.

Ivan the Terrible said...
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Ivan the Terrible said...

Randall - you knew what you were getting into. How else can you find the right one to marry if you don't road-test them?

Sam, your nomination will be tough to beat. Not for nothing is it known as "Cleveland's Petrochemical Wonderland". But there's always Barnstaple - immortalised in the irresistible slogan of the Barnstaple Tourist Board: "Please come to Barnstaple"...

Kieran said...

Leeds. But only because I hail from Bradford. That's right, I hail.

Kieran said...

The actual worst town is Port Talbot, really. They don't bother sending their kids to school - they just send em straight to Cardiff Prison. Middlesborough isn't far behind mind.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

In America, St. Paul, Minnesota, that place is a ghost town. Almost any mid-western city, bar Chicago and Minneapolis. Baltimore's pretty depressing and LA is a mess and only exciting in the I-may-never-leave-this-neighbourhood-alive kind of way.

I don't know about their list over on that site, though. They've really hit the nail on the head with most, but Whitby? Whitby's lovely! If one of the criteria is not having anything to do at night, fair enough - but there's no comparing Whitby with Govan or Slough or (shudder) Middlesbrough.

(Off to wash my mouth out).

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Leeds is no prize either.

Belfast.

stubby said...

Vidor Texas.

poltroon said...

That didn't scan so well the first time: "Crap Towns ...Plan your next holiday via a process of elimination."

Ivan the Terrible said...

A successful session of elimination can be a holiday in itself, Poltroon. It certainly puts a spring in your step...

PI said...

Burnley!

incessant_din said...

I have been enjoying your blog, and can't resist this topic.

Trona, CA.

The town screams "Twilight Zone" from behind its boarded up windows. Find me a higher ratio of churches to inhabitants. Only the damned need pray that fervently.

Rob said...

'Boro, yes, but also Avonmouth. Oooooooh, it's nasty.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Welcome, ID. I'll certainly add Trona to my blacklist of Californian destinations. Tho' that does pretty much cover the whole state anyway...

Avonmouth, eh, Rob? Is that bourgeois nasty or chav nasty?

Learson said...

Niggertown.

PI said...

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