Friday, September 15, 2006

Monstrous regiment

Proving once again that there’s nothing new under the Sun, the wives and girlfriends of Colombian gangsters have called a sex strike in an effort to get their men to - ahem - quit waving their pistols around.

The “Crossed Knees” strike, by women in the city of Pereira, is now in its second week. No word yet on whether local kleenex manufacturers have come out in sympathy.

Alert readers will spot the resemblance to the Ancient Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes, where the women of Athens organise a similar strike with their counterparts in Sparta, to end a twenty-year-old war. Eventually successful in their aim, they relent, resulting in an eye-opening final scene when you consider that for such comedies the male characters sported three-foot-long leather cocks, and that the female characters were also played by men.

Let’s hope that the brave and self-disciplined women of Pereira can bring their own campaign to the same happy, if flushed and sticky, end. And that the men remember - in their haste to make up for lost time - to check for trannies…


The women of Athens take the oath, yesterday. Not that crossed knees would’ve done them much good, knowing the predilictions of Greek men…

8 comments:

Desargues said...

'Predilictions' -- does that come from Latin praedilectio, -nis, or from Anglo-Saxon pretty licktion? :-)

Kieran said...

I was going to write about that, but you've done it admirably. I hadn't thought to mention trannies, for one thing. Thinking about it though, since most of these gangster are ex-cons, I reckon they might be willing to butter their bread on the other side. That'll teach women to be so manipulative. Guns don't kill people, people do, and women make people. So there it is.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Des - a little from column A, a little from column B...

Kieran - knowing Aristophanes as I do, trannies were the very first thought that came to my mind. On reflection, I'm a little worried about that, truth be told.

Seamus said...

On the subject of voluntary sexual abstinence - but from a man this time - I was dimly aware of Ruskin's wedding night, but not this aware:

http://www.socialaffairsunit.org.uk/blog/archives/001107.php

(scroll down to read that What is curious is the absence of pubic hair in nudes before Modigliani except in Port Said postcards. One can understand why it might be a requirement to cover the vital spot with artful diaphanous drapery but why airbrush it out on someone who is naked? It had a dreadful effect on the art critic John Ruskin, who was so alarmed to discover on his wedding night that his bride, Euphemia, had pubic hair, something he had never seen before, that he left the room in consternation. He had no previous experience of naked women and his extensive knowledge of the nude in art had convinced him that they did not have any. Ruskin deposed:

It may be thought strange that I could abstain from a woman who to most people was so attractive. But though her face was beautiful, her person was not formed to excite passion. On the contrary, there were certain circumstances in her person which completely checked it.

No wonder Proust and Gandhi admired Ruskin.


And scroll down further to read of Denmark's enlightened reaction to this story

Gorilla Bananas said...

These women are tempting fate. Once a man develops a taste for shemales, I suspect there is no going back. As for shaven cha-chas, aren't they de rigeur in modern porn?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Sounds to me like old Ruskin needed to get out more...

Desargues said...

A bit of Ivanesque dry wit and this story would amount to a fine post for the weekend, dare I suggest.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Sorry, Des - that's definitely a case of res ipse loquitur. Some things are beyond satire...