Friday, November 10, 2006

Ivan’s Election Round-Up

Thursday 7am: It’s election day!


Not that I get a vote, unless you count all those postal ballots I swiped from the Sunnyview Retirement Complex during nap time. Nevertheless, I feel moved to join in the fun, and dress accordingly.

Thursday noon: Turns out that Americans like to hold their elections on Tuesdays, not Thursdays as in proper countries like the UK. Bugger.

Why was I not informed? I make a mental note to chastise the wife, if only on general principle.

Thursday 11pm I review the results with alarm. The Democrats have seized control of Congress. In other news, Britney Spears announces her divorce.

Coincidence? I think not. The filthy tide of left-liberal immorality is already threatening to swamp us. May the Lord have mercy on our souls…

Quote of the Week Keith Ellison, first-ever Muslim Congressman, celebrates the rainbow coalition that elected him:

Ellison said his campaign united labor, minority communities and peace activists… "We brought in everybody."

“Everybody”?


Britney Spears, yesterday, too inconsolable to dress. Just the first of many victims of this unholy Democrat tyranny.

14 comments:

Rob said...

Fuck me, they've airbrushed a fair bit off her chin in that photo haven't they? She almost looks human.

PI said...

Why can't you vote? Is it because you are not an American citizen? Are you still British? Can you be both? I knew you loved us really!

TG said...

Ah, I see you joined the debate that is currently gripping academia: did Britney Spears' divorce influence the elections or is the other way round?

PS Sorry about my poor English but I'm afraid I'm quite drunk and quite Belgian, my dear sir.
Not quite sure what is more debilitating.

Thomas Pauli said...

Perhaps everybody this Ellison-guy knows of. BS is obviously none of them, which, on the other hand, is probably good for him.
Oh this endless complexity of real life!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Looking at the mantelpiece again, Rob? Can you really afford to be that choosy? If so, you should be running for Congress yourself :)

I've had my green card for two years now, so there's still three years and counting before I can get citizenship, Pi. The five year wait is standard. I could've cut it to three if I'd married an American or gained three hundred pounds (effectively the same thing either way), but as I'm already shackled I'll just have to go the long way.

TG - nothing wrong with being a drunk Belgian. I've been in Brussels a few times on business in recent years, and frankly alcohol always struck me as the only way to deal with the place.

And TP, truer to say that those are the only folks Mr Ellison considers worth representing. I wonder when he's planning to tell them that if they ever vote him out then by Sharia Law they are in revolt against the Umma and automatically under sentence of death? Should make for an interesting campaign ad in '08...

Anonymous said...

I must be tired. I thought your post was on Iran's Election Round-Up. I thought that you had really lost the plot. I am sure that the Iranians are happy that they have been relieved of the threat of Dubyanialation. Being related to an Iranian, I can provide fascinating incite if you ever do decide to post on the Iranian election. I understand that the Iranian President just got a Doctor of Laws from the same place that Prince William graduated. My Persian relative was very bemused by this.

R. Sherman said...

Methinks, the Demos will be conflicted about wanting to mandate that Mrs. Federlein dress this way, versus not wanting to offend our Islamic brethern, thereby requiring her to wear the dining room drapes.

Cognitive dissonance is always fun to watch.

BTW, Ivan, I'll sponsor you in two years. We need more immigrants who can do something besides cut my grass.

Cheers.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Works for me, Randall. Tho' I must say I quite enjoy cutting the grass. It's the only exercise I get at the weekend.

Orson said...

Bit miffed about the vote thing myself. What happened to this country and its "no taxation without representation" tradition?

Last year, we had a clear choice on our town board: the Blues fielded a Democrat, a Republican, and an Independent. Likewise, the Reds.

Both presented themselves as the "non-partisan" option.

I forget which was which, but one lot had names like Berlinerblau, Feldstein and Cohen, whereas the other bunch were called Giacometti, Tedeschi, and Pinocchio.

I don't remember if the Jews or the Catholics won. Since they go to different beach clubs, public order was never threatened.

I had some friends around for a tea party later that day.

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Aunty Marianne said...

Britney Spears and the electoral health of the Republicans? I sense a PHD thesis coming on.

Not that supporting the Republicans stopped her becoming serious trailer trash.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Among Democrats, Aunty, the equation of "Republican" and "trailer trash" is pretty much assumed. Just ask "Prince John" Kerry...