Friday, November 24, 2006

Ivan’s Site of the Week

This week’s winner is the gentle humour of the P G Wodehouse quote generator. A must for all eggs, beans, and crumpets.

All human life is there:

My Boss:

The words, delivered at a distance of two feet in the man's immediate rear, were spoken in the sharp, resonant voice of one who Gets Things Done - which, in its essentials, is rather like the note of a seal barking for fish.

Myself:

He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consomme, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
Carry On, Jeeves (1925) `Clustering round Young Bingo'

My kids:

`I remember years ago, Bertie,' said Aunt Dahlia, `when you nearly swallowed your rubber comforter and started turning purple. And I, ass that I was, took it out and saved your life. Let me tell you, it will go very hard with you if you ever swallow a rubber comforter again when only I am by to aid.’
Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)

And of course, my hobbies:

Boko Bagshott we called him. Took a girl to supper once at the Gardenia. Supper scarcely concluded when an angry old gentleman plunges into the room and starts shaking his fist in Boko's face. Boko rises with chivalrous gesture. ``Have no fear, sir. I am a man of honour. I will marry your daughter.'' ``Daughter?'' says the old gentleman, foaming a little at the mouth. ``Damn it, that's my wife.'' Took all Boko's tact to pass it off, I believe.

Those were happier times…

What’s your favourite Wodehouse quote?


Bertie Wooster, yesterday. A role model for us all. Fortunately we still have David Cameron.

13 comments:

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Just popping in to wish you happy Thanksgiving, Uncle Vanya, albeit belatedly, but I see you're quicker off the mark than me and have already done a Friday post.

I can't think of a Wodehouse quote right at the minute (I am in the kitchen surrounded by 4 whooping 4-year-olds who are mixing up flour, cinnamon and water in pots on the floor) but in response to the last post's question I will now rather rudely insert my answers here.

I am thankful for
A lovely husband
Two astonishing and wonderful children
A noisy, happy kitchen
For living my life in the luckiest 2% or so of humanity: not having to deal with hunger, poverty, war outside my front door, rampant disease, natural disasters, inadequate sanitation or health care and all the things we in the affluent, educated West take for granted.
A life structured enough to demand of me hard work and discipline, but which still affords leisure enough to read and learn things.
Dear old friends
New friends
Motherhood

Happy Thanksgiving, Terrible

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I am enormously thankful, daily, for the miracle of modern medicine which has saved the lives of my premature daughters, my eosophagally-torn husband, myself, my mother, my kidney transplanted father, and which now provides my brother with satisfying employment in the NHS. For the labouring boffins in labs and the people of good will who try to distribute medicines to the world's weakest.

People who talk about things being better in the old days are forgetting about polio, TB, state asylums, the pre-antibiotic world, cancer being a shameful disease and all the rest of it.

R. Sherman said...

"He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control."

Money in the Bank (1946)

Suits my disposition to a "t."

Cheers.

Thomas Pauli said...

"A confirmed recluse you would have called him, if you happened to know the word."
Couldnt't be more true!

Rob said...

Excellent. ALL englismen should read Wodehouse. Jeeves & Wooster is repeated on Englishland TV this very afternoon. Twice. I shall watch them both despite the protestations of my offspring. Lightyears better than that tedious medical flummery he's in now.

R. Sherman said...

"Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing glove."

This "Site of the Week" is perfect for Saturday morning coffee.

Cheers.

Anonymous said...

"The face was drawn, the eyes haggard, the general appearance that of one who has searched for the leak in life's gaspipe with a lighted candle."

This link is just perfect! Huzzah!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Good choices for Thanksgiving, Sam - especially your point about the Good Old Days. To those who tend to wax nostalgic about the past I have long posited the one-word answer, "dentistry"...

Rob said...

I dunno, one rather yearns for the simple days of empire, what?

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