Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dispatches from RummieWorld™

A warm welcome to Self-Awareness Corner, as German Lawyers unveil plans to charge Donald Rumsfeld with crimes against humanity.

Well, one certainly can’t gainsay the German people’s expert and in-depth knowledge of war crimes. Their reputation for near-autistic blindness to embarrassing inappropriacy is also apparently well-earnt.

In other news, 150 scientists and staff are kidnapped from Baghdad’s Higher Education Ministry in broad daylight.

Now, I can see bundling some poor chump off the street into the boot of a car being called kidnapping, but when it comes to twenty camouflaged lorries full of uniformed thugs rounding up an entire government department, I fear we are stretching the meaning of “kidnap” beyond all reason.

A new word must be found, and I think it is only fair that it pay tribute to the inimitable skills of our former Defence Secretary by immortalising his genius.

Therefore I humbly suggest “to rummie” vt, sb, to kidnap on an industrial scale. Use it wisely, my children – I bequeath it thee…

What’s your favourite neologism?


Some German lawyers, yesterday. Poachers turned gamekeepers.

14 comments:

R. Sherman said...

Given the illustration, wouldn't the verb be "To Heydrich?" (German: heydrichen)

Ivan the Terrible said...

In the case of heydrichen, for "kidnap" read "slaughter"...

Kevin McDonald said...

The poor old Germans. They really are the proverbial 'fat men in the photo', besides whom all others look merely 'portly'.

How fortunate for us to have the Germans. However much we slaughter and whatever atomic holocausts we unleash, we can always safely say, "At least we're not as bad as the Germans..".

Thus the 'ultimate horror' is always safely at one remove from the present, allowing us to go on, blithley imagining that it would be impossible for the 'ultimate horror' to be now; for surely we would 'know', if it were now, wouldn't we?

PI said...

Not my own neologism but one that captured my imagination in Ken Branagh's book about the theatre. Trevor Nunn, the director - having so many irons in the fire - is known for his elusiveness during his productions. Ken went to endless machinations to make sure that Trevor would appear at a particular vital rehearshal only to have - in spite of constant reassurances - a non-appearance of the director and realise that he - along with the rest of the cast -had been well and truly 'Trevved'

Kieran said...

He was so funny.
Nobody ever got his jokes though.
Sad really.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Given that there were few uniforms in WWII as outrageously camp as the German officers' with their drama and riding crops and shiny, shiny high-boots of leather - it's impossible to listen to The Velvet Underground's "Venus In Furs" without imagining the German military elite - I submit the verb "to encamp" - to join German army.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Fatty Goering was the fattest one. He also got to wear a white uniform, unlike the others. Did he ever dress in ladies' clothes or was that someone else?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Probably, GB. Fat guys love their muu muus, after all.

I've often thought he should've gone for the SS instead of the Luftwaffe - black is far more slimming...

Desargues said...

I'd like to submit my own coinage: "to pull a Chirac." I mean that to denote 'to speak in a tone fo voice that is haughty, inexplicably patronizing and unsupported by any actual abilities.'

Or maybe that should just be 'to speak French'?

Cantemir said...

Des,

Pot sa vad ca nu sunteti in partidul romanesc francofilic, nu-i adevarat? Nici eu nu suport pe francezi; am lucrat cu un enarc, si el nu mi-am placut de loc.

Desargues said...

"Pot sa vad" e simptomul ce-l tradeaza pe vorbitorul anglo-saxon de limbi romanice invatate ulterior. "I can see" e probabil constructia originara tradusa telle quelle in romaneste. In romaneasca locala, poti spune "Vad ca..."

Nu face nimic; n-am intentia sa ironizez vorbitorii non-nativi. Dimpotriva, sint impresionat.

Iar despre francezi, nu-i prea am la inima. Imi place literatura lor, le admir arhitectura, dar nu le-as copia sistemul politic deloc. Am lucrat cu niste francezi care incercau sa-si aproprieze fondurile Uniunii Europene destinate Romaniei sub pretextul ca ofereau "asistenta tehnica." Ce ma irita in mod deosebit e amestecul de ipocrizie socialista si lipsa de scrupule capitalista.

Sorry for the incomprehensible interlude, everyone. We were just using one of the Eastern Romance dialects to bitch about them snail-eatin' Frogs. Carry on, folks. Nothing to see here, really.

Cantemir said...

Des,

Ce ironie ca romanul 'local' sa numeste despre un francez - si un 'strain' (si in America si in Romania) despre un roman mare. Asa este.

Nu am locuit mare timp in Romania, si, cum puteti sa vedeti, nici scriu nici vorbesc un romaneste elegant. (Cum spunem in englezeste, e 'limba mea apatra.' Am invatat limba engleza in copilarie, dar numai pentru facultate am invatat romaneste. Nu, nu sunt un ungur.) Si ce pacat; imi place foarte mult literatura romaneasca, si acum, nu pot sa studiez. Cursurile de romaneste nu sunt oferite la facultate in America. Majoritatea romanilor aici nu vor sa vorbesc cu mine cu o limba care nu stiu so folesc cum trebuie.

Multumesc pentru corectiile - sunt foarte folositoare pentru mine.

Ce ma irita in mod deosebit e amestecul de ipocrizie socialista si lipsa de scrupule capitalista.

Nu stiu daca e adevarat, exagerat, sau ce, dar am vorbit cu niste Sarbi despre subiectul. Dupa razboiul, ei m-au spus, nemtii au cumparat toate tara lor cu bani marunti. Probabil ca nu e adevarul complet, dar...

Sorry, Uncle Vanya. I'll stick to English from now on. Damned wretched French, Eurotrash, etc. etc.

Desargues said...

Mi-ar face placere sa vorbim romaneste. E o limba pe care incep s-o uit incetul cu incetul, dupa citiva ani traiti in America. Dar poate, din cind in cind, reusesc sa-mi amintesc romana pe care-o stiam pina sa plec din tara. Eram foarte bun la vorbit limba mea materna. Si, spre deosebire de multi romani in prezent, ii cunosc gramatica la perfectie.

And, I swear, this is the last time I spam Ivan's blog with unknown dialects.

Aunty Marianne said...

I can rarely be relied upon to puff up the French in any way, but ... They can read and understand about 60% of that without even trying.

Probably best to know, eh, before being rude about the large man opposite you on the Paris metro?