Michael Jackson is spotted in Bahrain wearing traditional women's clothing, we learn from the inestimable BBC News.
Not, we should make clear, the boob tube and mini-skirt of the British female, but the somewhat more sombre veil and gloves typical of his recently adopted home. Perhaps he feels that children will find him more approachable in this garb, although of course why he should want that is not a topic upon which one cares to speculate. He has previously wandered into ladies’ lavatories over there too, which suggests a marginally more innocent explanation for this latest display of wackery.
But simple charity prompts us to assume the best of everyone, and so we suggest, just for the sake of argument, that Mr Jackson is actually making a statement of solidarity with the females of that benighted region. After all, just beyond Bahrain’s narrow borders women are locked in the house and forbidden to maneouvre huge 4x4s around supermarket car parks in search of a pint of milk and some chocolate hob-nobs. This is generally agreed to be a Bad Thing.
So hats, gloves and abayas off to Michael for so bravely challenging patriarchal gender hierarchies. Hopefully this is a sincere personal choice, and not a case of making a virtue of necessity. Noses might not be the only thing hanging by a thread after so many operations.
Michael’s handlers take a break from sweeping up the bits he leaves behind to berate the press. Apparently Michael doesn’t want the photographers to scare the children, which is a bit rich coming from a mass of scar tissue dressed like a Tusken Raider.
Michael Jackson has two sons, both called Prince Michael. I’m beginning to think there’s something a little bit odd about him, you know…
Michael Jackson yesterday. I am Wacko – hear me roar!