Saturday, January 21, 2006

Stir crazy

Harry Hutton remains AWOL after nine straight days. Last we heard of him, he’d just gotten some hot prison survival tips from a chance acquaintance in a bar. Impetuous youth that he is, I fear that he could not wait to try them out and has rushed off incontinently to pound on the door of the nearest clink, demanding entrance.

Harry does not seem to fall into the standard ethnic categories for inmates of English gaols (namely Scouse or Scottish), so one begins to fear the worse. After a week or so, people in his situation are usually said to be sitting up comfortably and taking solids, but in this case the former is likely to be an issue, depending upon where and how many of the latter were applied.

Are you in gaol, or maybe you know someone who is? Perhaps you’re a Scouser temporarily between nicks? If so, keep your eyes peeled and let us know if you see Harry. There’s a shiny new penny in it for the first confirmed sighting!

And if you must do those disgusting things to him, at least give him a reach-around with our regards.


An inmate yesterday. Seen Harry, mate?

7 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hah! I knew it was only a matter of time before you started your own blog. You have now joined the growing band of bloggers who started out by commenting on Chase me Ladies . The initiation ceremony involves drinking a cup of your own piss.

My hope is that Harry has got chickenpox and is too embarrassed to get his mum to post a message for him. Drop in some time to the japing ape and I'll introduce you to Dr Maroon and the rest of the gang.

Ivan the Terrible said...

A cup of piss, eh? Might as well be in gaol then, after all. Well, no worries - just as long as it's my own.

Thanks for the welcome and the invite - Put the kettle on and I'll swing by soon.

Paste said...

He's back up and running, well back up anyway!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Good to hear. It was sad without him - like losing a friend. A friend with Tourettes, anyway.

Jamie said...

Yayers! You have a blog!

Just Jane said...

And it's bloody brilliant!

Ivan the Terrible said...

I'm blushing. And as one of nature's Goths, red is not my colour...