Harry Hutton remains AWOL after nine straight days. Last we heard of him, he’d just gotten some hot prison survival tips from a chance acquaintance in a bar. Impetuous youth that he is, I fear that he could not wait to try them out and has rushed off incontinently to pound on the door of the nearest clink, demanding entrance.
Harry does not seem to fall into the standard ethnic categories for inmates of English gaols (namely Scouse or Scottish), so one begins to fear the worse. After a week or so, people in his situation are usually said to be sitting up comfortably and taking solids, but in this case the former is likely to be an issue, depending upon where and how many of the latter were applied.
Are you in gaol, or maybe you know someone who is? Perhaps you’re a Scouser temporarily between nicks? If so, keep your eyes peeled and let us know if you see Harry. There’s a shiny new penny in it for the first confirmed sighting!
And if you must do those disgusting things to him, at least give him a reach-around with our regards.
An inmate yesterday. Seen Harry, mate?