Wednesday, December 20, 2006

No such thing as a free lunch?

One in 20 Latinos in the US regularly goes hungry complains the Hispanic civil rights group the National Council of La Raza.

OK, fine. While we’re at it, the National Bakers’ Union is complaining that its members don’t get enough blow jobs. And your point is…? Who are those universally well-fed lawyers going to sue? And on what grounds? Call a charity, or call Welfare, but for God’s sake don’t call a lawyer.

Civil rights are about not getting robbed or threatened by the State, thrown into gaol without due process, or kidnapped and murdered by corrupt cops, all of which are daily events south of the Rio Grande. Civil rights are about equality before the law. What civil rights are emphatically not about is equality of life.

Martin Luther King demanded, among other things, the right to be served at segregated lunch counters. I don’t recall him arguing the inalienable right to Japanese sweet potato and chestnut gratin once he got there. You got what was on the menu, if you could pay for it. Same goes for Manolo and friends. You don’t work, you don’t eat. You don’t like it, you go home and ask your own government to feed you. Let us know how that works out for you…

God knows, it’s not as if Whitey has a secret stash of super-healthy eating tips. They’re mostly so fat and wheezy that those lean illegals will outlive them anyway.

Tallahassee, 1956. Another lunch counter sit-in ends in defeat, as for the third day running José steals everybody else’s fries…


HA HA HA said...

wel u gota lota rights i agre but speilign 'jail' taht way aint one of em.

p.s. sweat potata gratan? martian luthor kign was a very gareat man. he wuouldn eat that crap ona dare.

R. Sherman said...

Of course, the right is to pursue happiness, full stomach, etc., not the right to have same.

BTW, your first paragraph reminded me of a joke from the Clinton era.

A man and his children are watching the evening news during L'affaire Lewinsky. The announcer speaks ominously about "oral sex." One of the children asks, "Daddy, what's oral sex?"

His response?

"I'm married. I have no idea."

Thank you. I'll be here all week.


incessant_din said...

This is really an indictment of Mexican food, which is supremely tasty, but often representative of some other food pyramid.

The report said 5% of hispanics go hungry, vs. 3% of non-hispanic whites, while 20% of hispanics lack healthy food, vs. 5% of whites. Tamales taste good, and satisfy your hunger, but they're just lard, flour and meat. Kind of a hispanic corn dog.

R. Sherman said...


Sir, don't be pissin' on our corn dogs, dammit.


incessant_din said...

"Sir, don't be pissin' on our corn dogs, dammit."

Far from it. I have a stash in the fridge right now. Foster Farms Jumbo 1/4lb (114g) "honey crunchy" chicken corn dogs. Strictly for emergencies and satiating occasional cravings, I assure you. I believe man should not live by breaded foods alone.

I wouldn't say that pounding 1/4lb corn dog stakes into my heart counts as moderation, but I try to do my part for the white people statistics by mixing in veggies and grains as well.

R. Sherman said...

Oh, and I forgot.

Ivan, via a federal appointment, I prosecuted a civil case for one David Mack Ackbar Perkins Bey in my younger years. He was ensconced in our maximum security prison for life for having stabbed an old lady in the eye for her purse, which contained three whole dollars and fifty-two cents.

His complaint: the screws had confiscated his Muslim literature.

His prayer (before I was appointed as his counsel):

One Million Dollars.

I settled the case by buying him out of my own money a 12 inch color TV for his cell, but had the State of Missouri deliver it to him.

It cost me less of my own money than if I'd tried the damn case.


Ivan the Terrible said...

Sounds like a real charmer, Randall. Pity they couldn't just restrict his available channels to the food network. Especially if it was Pork Week :)

Cantemir said...

That's ridiculous. When I first came over, my grocery budget was $20 a week. Since I am a law-abiding alien (ie, a dupe and a stupe, and non-Hispanic) I didn't dare to do any illegal work for fear of getting kicked out of my graduate program and shipped back to the wrong country by mistake.

I gained 15 pounds in my first year in America. That summer, when I spent a lot of time waiting for things to compile, I moved a donated, free NordicTrack machine into my lab and bought some cheap weights at Wal-Mart. Problem solved.

Oh, wait, the problem is that immigrants are hungry? Screw that. I have buddies who are illegal construction workers and they send thousands of USD home every year. I bet Des knows exactly what I'm talking about: the last time I drove through Oas, I was flabbergasted by the four-storey houses with elevators and wrought-iron gates. Those houses were built with remittances from France, Spain, England, and America.

Cant' find enough to eat? Ballll-zzzzzz.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I bet those one-in-20 are among the healthiest humans in America.

Desargues said...

Cantemir's right. There's no such thing as a hungry illegal immigrant. The 5% who claim they are must be the only Hispanics to buy into this shit. Or maybe they're the Latino constituency of Nicole Richie's fan club.