Friday, October 13, 2006

Ivan’s Site of the Week

This week’s winner is Cheating Spouse Private Investigators - featuring an inexhaustible supply of tawdry and depressing stories of human frailty and weakness.

The signs and portents are particularly good value. A few minutes review of the top giveaways was sufficient to establish beyond any doubt that I am not having an affair with anyone. That’s a load off my mind, frankly, as otherwise it would’ve nagged at me all day. That kind of uncertainty can destroy a marriage.

On the other hand, their top tips don’t help much with the wife, who’s at home all day with the pool boy. I suppose I should be more trusting but it’s hard not to wonder a little, given that we don’t actually have a pool.

A hat tip is due to Randall for bringing this one to our attention. But don’t be alarmed on his account, gentle readers – being a lawyer, his interest is purely professional…


My God – they’re wearing sunglasses and looking around furtively! Does their low cunning know no bounds?

10 comments:

Desargues said...

Well, in the world's most dynamic capitalist economy, you can bet no product is without something out there to counter it. You think your gumshoe dicks are smart? Let them try to outsmart these guys or people like these.

"Satisfied married but looking customers since 1996!" But I guess you don't need theira dvice on how to get away with it, do you, Ivan? :-)

Ivan the Terrible said...

Bloody hell, Des - where do you find this stuff? That's next week's Site of the Week in the bag, for sure. There's no way I'm clicking on either of those links - my wife's far too savvy when it comes to using the history button on my browser.

Appreciate the implication that I'm so charming and handsome as to need no help with the ladies, tho'. Sadly, I am not the raffish Raffles-esque figure that my eloquence might imply. Not that I'm looking, I hasten to add... :)

Desargues said...

The 'history' file is there to be deleted, the cache is there to be emptied, Ivan. And, after a certain while, the significant other is there to be outsmarted. Mind you, I'm not condoning such practices in any way, shape, or form. But I've been on the receiving end of such antics, so one learns fairly quickly.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Sorry to hear that, Des.

I'd have thought there'd be more job satisfaction in dragging the East River for bodies than that particular brand of private dickery. Still, wherever there is a need, it'll be filled, I guess. What a crappy job though. What kind of person gets inot that sort of business?

Gorilla Bananas said...

A girlfriend cheated on you, Des? She must have been an utter airhead. You may have to tone down the intellectual stuff if you're dating a girl without a PhD.

Cantemir said...

Rich is much sexier than smart. Come to that, what's smart if it can't lead to rich?

Desargues said...

Shoulda listened to a sapiential gorilla before I embarked on that adventure, GB. Where were you when husbands in need require your counsel?

But really, I did tone down the brain stuff before I even met her. I had learned by then that, with some women, being clever is already too clever by half (potentially outraged ladies should note the qualifying 'some').

As to being rich -- now there's a possibility I failed to consider. I wonder if it's too late. Surely there's gotta be a cubicle on Wall Street for someone like me.

Desargues said...

Yeah, it starts with furtive encounters in shabby motel rooms, and it ends up with something like this. The way of all flesh, really.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Hmmm. Always wondered what that piece was for...

R. Sherman said...

Yes, in my biz, I've seen it all. Alas, I've not done it all, but then the EMBLOS is German. I don't want her doing to me what her relatives did to Poland.

Cheers.