Monday, October 09, 2006

Phone sex

The Catholic Church presses the panic button again, this time claiming that Indian call centres are sinks of iniquity, leading innocent young girls into sin. Tho’ as they’re mostly heathen Hindus to start with, it’s hard to fathom why the Papists should care.

Turns out that a potent cocktail of a relaxed co-ed working environment and salaries far above the norm for single twenty-somethings have unleashed the inner party-animals of 1.3 million call centre staff across India.

“an informal, American-style college campus atmosphere, where there is plenty of après-shift drinking and partying”
“You're together all night in this cool, hip atmosphere and you end up getting intimate”
“staff have been caught by hidden cameras having sex in cubicles... on the staircase, in the gym and car parks during breaks”
“drains … found choked with condoms”

If that’s an example of Third World squalor and wage slavery, then sign me up. Seems the only white collar sweatshops left in the world are the ones we poor Western saps go to every day. I’ll be embarrassed to call in for an account balance from now on. Who knows what I might be interrupting?

At the very least they could let us in on the fun. Maybe get our account details, and then describe their underwear, if any. Add stockings and a web-cam, and some extra hold time for the masochists, and it’s pretty much your complete full-service offering.

It’s that kind of value-add that will truly differentiate the Indian service economy from its competition in the 21st century.


An Indian call centre, yesterday. With all those young single girls, it resembles nothing else so much as a well-stocked lake…

15 comments:

Kieran said...

It's just not fair. First they offshore all our sweatshop-call centres to Pune, then they go and turn them into 'hip' happening places filled with ravishing young things and wild orgies. This would never have happened under a Labour government. Oh no, it did.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I can't see the problem. Not compared to other Indian problems such as female infanticide. Where are the headlines on what the catholic church thinks about that?Nope, it's just sex, sex, se;, that's all they think about. And the Indians too, it seems!

I, for one, am glad to see a 2nd world nuclear power making love, not war.

PI said...

I agree with Sam. They've had all the bad stuff. Let them have fun!

And how the Catholic Church dares to sound off about anyone, after all the blind eyes they have endlessly turned to the abuse of children by their priests, leaves me speechless.

Gorilla Bananas said...

The Indian shopkeeper in the film Girl 6 was a lecherous little fellow. 'Patang, patang' he called it.

Rob said...

"plenty of après-shift drinking"
Fuck's sake, I spent years in those hellholes and I had to be pissed before I started. Never got laid in a broom cupboard however. Mind you, considering the unfortunate looking dugongs who were incarcerated there, I am quite happy about that.

Fat Sparrow said...

Damn, that beats the hell out of any telemarketing job over here, doesn't it?

And what the hell is Papa Benny bitching about more, the fact that they're having sex, or the fact that they're wearing condoms?

My message to the Pope: Put yer bishop's hat on my man, and go to town. It'll loosen you up a bit.

Honestly, why can he not just be a hypocrite Catholic like the rest of us? Oh no, Mr. Holier Than Thou, I wasn't a Nazi, who put the top down, it's fucking freezing, ooops, I mean, I pardon you! Yeah, yeah, Benny, pull the other one, it's got bells on it.

Desargues said...

Does that mean we're looking at about 3 billion Indians in less than twenty years? That's a lot of customer service. We're gonna need stuff in the West to break down every other day or so to keep those guys employed.

"Hello, sir, my name is Andrew and I'd like to make you a great offer" -- when I realize that 'Andrew' was perhaps getting a blowjob while offering me a variable-rate mortgage, it makes me dizzy. How can people keep their cool in such situations?

Fat Sparrow said...

Well, it's much easier to talk on the phone while receiving a blow job than it is to talk on the phone while giving a blow job.

Ivan the Terrible said...

So one would assume, FS - but only a very special group of people would actually know. And so far, they aren't talking. It would be bad manners, under the circumstances...

Cantemir said...

fatsparrow, pi,

I'm sure that the Pope was witing for your advice & approval with bated breath.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
PI said...

cantemir: is that 'writng' or perhaps 'waiting'? Just asking!
Perhaps you are of the opinion that we are not entitled to make comments about the Catholic Church or the Pope?

Cantemir said...

Waiting.

I didn't say that you weren't 'entitled,' as clearly a computer and an Internet connection are all the entitlement necessary.

PI said...

Gee thanks!

Cantemir said...

If you get the impression that I'm being rude on purpose, you're right. Now what could my motivation and purpose possibly be?