Monday, October 23, 2006

Where’s my rifle?

Clown conference opens in Mexico reports the BBC, inexplicably filing the story under “Americas” rather than “Terror”. 400 clowns have gathered in Mexico City for four days of intensive workshops and competition on the general theme of giving small children lifelong psychological problems.

Where are Al Qaeda when you need them?

Not content with giving everyone the willies, these pasty-faced freaks are demanding subsidies for their perverted “lifestyle”:

"We would like the government to be aware of our existence," Tomas Morales, known as "Llanton Clown", told the Associated Press news agency.

"Because, in some way, we need a school for clowns."

Mr Morales, doubtless a relative of Bolivia’s narco-terrorist President Evo, intends to gather his legions to perform for free outside the Mexican parliament to raise awareness of their plight. And if they don’t get what they want, they’ll do it again, and again, and again…

"To be a clown is something really serious” says conference organiser Pingo the Clown. That tells you all you need to know about them, really, doesn’t it?


A clown, yesterday. That's not funny.

9 comments:

Aunty Marianne said...

Aaaaargh! Run for the hills. Clowns give me the heebie jeebies at the best of times, but now they're ganging up?

Bwwaahahahha *shivers*

P.S. I'm BACK! Did you miss me?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Of course we missed you, Aunty! We're very glad to see you returning to your old haunts now that your flat is fit for habitation again.

You really must come over here sometime for a visit. We can sneak down to Mexico on the sly and go on one of those highly-illegal clown safaris. I find blowing their painted heads off to be incredibly therapeutic...

Anonymous said...

god! dont tell H3!

PI said...

That photo illustrates perfectly the dead eyes of a clown which I, to my shame, along with the athletic body have always found irrresistable. Fortuitously I have never encompassed one in the flesh!

R. Sherman said...

Oh, I always hated clowns. One wonders what it is about them that inspires such dread.

Except for Pat, of course.

Cheers.

Ivan the Terrible said...

If Pi wishes to "encompass" clowns in her free time, that's entirely her own business. As long as she doesn't inflict it on the rest of us, I fully support her in her bizarre and repellent lifestyle choices. That's the kind of sweet, tolerant guy I am.

If, however, she spawns some sort of unGodly clown/human hybrid, we'll just have to go after her with torches and pitchforks. Nothing personal, you understand, Pi - think of it as shooting the infected before they can turn zombie. In fact I hope you'd do the same for me...

Gorilla Bananas said...

"To be a clown is something really serious"

I didn't believe they were really clowns until I read that quote. It's a disgrace that these loafers are asking for government support instead of earning their crust by falling over and being kicked. They should be ritually de-wigged.

PI said...

Ivan - like a fly alighting on ordure! Encompass. OK so it isn't quite right but I meant a little more than encounter because I have encountered the odd one. Problems of age - words don't come trippingly.

Ivan the Terrible said...

That's ok, Pi - you're among friends here. We all have our little quirks and kinks. Randall, for instance, has a thing for mannequins apparently. All part of God's rich tapestry...