Exquisitely detailed right down to the well-thumbed underwear, not only is it fully poseable with realistic retching and grasping hand action: it also recites 25 "historic" phrases that capture the essence of this truly remarkable adulteress and freeloader:
"I'd like to be a queen of people's hearts"
"There's far too much about me in the newspapers, far too much"
"I want to do good things"
"I don't sit here with resentment. I sit here with sadness"
Of course no doll could capture her true magic…
“Let’s go shopping”
“Of course Charles is Harry’s father – ha ha!”
“Jeeves - send up another barrel of taxpayers’ money”
“I want another holiday!”
“No, no, no – I only do pretty orphans, you silly little commoner”
“Give me your proud Egyptian obelisk my swarthy stallion”
“Those little men in the white Fiat – are they Mossad or MI5, do you think?”
The United States is a republic, of course, and so does not benefit from Britain’s unrivalled crop of cretinous royal parasites. Presumably this is why they keep trying to substitute for them by worshipping locally raised rodents like the Nazi-loving, mafia-hugging, election-stealing, wire-tapping, girl-drowning Kennedys. Even so, one wonders if there could be anyone so retarded as to buy this item and yet still be allowed out on their own without a leash. A hint as to the target market for this little treasure is provided by the fact that the box it comes in is lovingly inscribed “Diana, Princess of Whales”.
There are 300 million people in the USA. There are 10,000 Diana dolls. That’s enough for roughly 0.00003 % of the population. The average IQ of the bottom 0.00003% of the population lies around 35 to 40 – ie, just barely smarter than a programmable toaster. And they’re monarchists, each and every one…
The Diana doll yesterday. A great disappointment to all true fans, being not nearly as pointless and annoying as the real thing.