And then you hit 40.
All at once a very long and scary list of intrusive tests appears, apparently brainstormed by world-class sadists in the Violent Wing at Broadmoor and then rigorously ranked for high Pain and Humiliation quotients. One is required to fast. There are needles. There are smears. There are more needles. You are no longer allowed to keep the underwear on. And now it’s the car park, not the gym.
Above all, there’s the prostate exam. My doctor is a personable young black woman who has learnt to channel several centuries of racial tension via her index finger, summoning unbelievable killing force into that humble digit like a kung fu master. I wouldn’t mind so much except for her accompanying cry of “Virgin no more!”, which I felt was frankly unnecessary.
And yet, amid strange sparkly lights and the dizzying musical ringing in the ears, I have an epiphany, if it’s possible to have an epiphany when one’s eyes are quite so tightly shut. If gay men are prepared to put up with similar or worse voluntarily, for love, who are we to deny them a wedding band? Surely no greater proof of devotion can be asked or offered. Skip the bans and break out the confetti, I say. They’ve earnt it.
Not lesbians, tho’. They have it too easy already…
A gay marriage, yesterday. Fair play to them.
37 comments:
A fair point, Ivan. On the other hand, if there's any decency left in us, we'd try to warn them that putting themselves through all that pain ;-) for the mere sake of marriage is a losing deal. We ought to warn them about the humdrum routine, the petty arguments, the never-ending financial worries, the kids who grow up to hate you, the intermittent, strangely-timed headaches, and the humiliation of divorce. Is it worth it, I ask?
But let them learn their lesson. That's when both sides will realise they're just like us (at least in marriage), thus taking the wind out of the sails of identity politics.
--Desargues
tahts why i oavoid doctrs.
Would be nice if you were right, Des, but I expect they'll come up with something else to complain about. After all, not being just like us is the whole point for some gay folk I know...
Hi 3H - let me know how that works out for you when your arse suddenly falls off :)
I went for my annual prostate exam recently. Imagine my horror when I felt both of the doctor's hands on my shoulders.
A German fellow told me a joke much to the same effect, Foot Eater. I'm afraid I can't repeat it on a respectable blog such as this. ;-)
--Des.
Yes - somehow it always sounds worse in German, doesn't it? Then again, everything sounds worse in German...
I think what Hx3 is saying is that he'll be buggered if he'll submit to the kind of examination you did.
Yup. And I'm saying that he'll be fucked if his prostate blows up on him unobserved.
Hobson's choice, really...
Yeah, you're totally right, Ivan. Here's a most telling example--no offense to Randall Sherman's lovely wife, I'm sure she left Germany before it all became a dog's breakfast: do you know how they say 'girlfriend' in Germany these days? It's supposed to emphasize one's autonomy and freedom from commitments and shit, but it just sounds ridiculous and barbaric:
"Lebensabschnittsbegleiterin". Literally, a 'companion for an interval in one's life'.
Them Krauts need to get their linguistic shit together, I'm telling you.
--Des.
Ivan--
in your latest comment at Harry's Place, you say "The morale is, in Colombia,..." I suspect you meant to say, the MORAL is, etc...
I know, I'm really annoying. But foreigners are often reactionary conservatives in matters linguistic. :-) That's why they still read tedious stuff like Anthony Trollope.
--Desargues
iven - yeh wel. i figur i balence it out by smoking.
lebensabschnittsbegleiterin? wel atleast its catchy. betar then 'signifacent othar'.
Yeah, it sounds cooler, 3H. And it doesn't let people know that anybody else besides your g/friend is an insignificant other.
--Des.
D'oh! My spelling seems to get worse as I get older. Just as well I'm not German, really, judging by "lebensabschnittsbegleiterin". One must be thankful for small mercies.
"lebensabschnittsbegleiterin", eh? Wow - the chicks must melt when they hear that. "Darling, won't you be my companion for an interval in my life? Don't bother getting unpacked or anything, tho'." Who says romance is dead?
I agree with the point about everything sounding worse in German. An innocent request like "pass the salt, please" sounds like "Invade Poland immediately! We meed more liebensraum. And somebody make my boots shiny!" If that sounds awfully long, it's on account of the compound word nature of German. Don't ask what "pass the mustard" sounds like.
But what really concerns me is wht sort of primary school made you run around the gym in your underwear? Golly, no wonder you blog!
I'm a fan of yours, incidentally
And let's not get started on "ich liebe dich!" and "du bist mein beste freunde!" I'm sorry, but no declaration of affection should make spittle fly.
Thanks for the kind words, Sam. May the HTML Gods smile upon you, and fix that slipped sidebar soon...
Yeah, Sam has a point there, Ivan. Sounds a bit like a German elementary school to me. :-) Or is that how they ease kids into gentlemanliness in Britain? No wonder some of their MPs choose such strange ways to kick the bucket:
http://www.fantompowa.net/Flame/autoerotic_deaths_in_uk.htm
Say what you will about Teutonic languages, but at least they're rich. Sure, you need a rubber tongue to pronounce most of their words; however, no one can accuse them of a chronic lack of synonyms. Why, they even have another term for 'girlfriend':Lebensabschnittsgefährtin. Non-committal, as it befits a cold descendant of Kant, the inventor of autonomy.
And now for the bonus: which one of you, with the exception of Randall (who musta gotten plenty of practice) can pronounce this true linguistic monster:Streichholzschächtelchen.
Heh, heh. I didn't think so.
--Desargues
Say whatever you like, Ivan, but you and I both know that you've booked yourself in for another prostate exam next week. ;)
I can pronounce it, Desargues. Streichholzschächtelchen. There, that's right, isn't it?
Yeah, "Streichholzschächtelchen" is an easy one.
Anyway, you have provoked me long enough with off-topic comments about the Germans - we have a whole post about them today, so knock yourselves out...
Popped in on this one a day late, I see. I've discovered that if you separate them from the hive, they can be quite pleasant. The important thing is not to allow more than three or for to be in the same room at once.
As for the language, I agree it sounds like crap. The reason I majored in it was quite simple. I had to take 12-13 hours of foreign language at Mizzou. French and Spanish were everyday affairs. German was only three times a week.
Cheers.
Sorry Randall - was it three or four Germans or three or four gay weddings in a room at once? How on Earth did we get onto the Germans anyway?
Whatever. I still remember a German guy in Budapest haranguing me and an American friend about how the US was an imperialist power. "Excuse me", replies the Yank, "but didn't you guys just try to take over the world? Twice?"
dont mentoint eh war!
Too late :)
I was searching blogs,and I found yours.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my treat dispensing dog toys site.
Have a good day!
(Lucius or Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus) (snsn´ts, –nt´s) (KEY) , fl. 5th cent. B.C., Roman patriot. He was consul in 460 B.C. and dictator twice (458 and 439). According to tradition, in his first dictatorship he came from his farm to defeat the Aequi and Volscians, who were threatening the city from the east and southeast. He returned from battle, resigned his dictatorship, and went home to his farm. In 439 he came out of retirement to put down the plebeians. The separation of legend from history in Cincinnatus’ story is impossible.
(Lucius or Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus) (snsn´ts, –nt´s) (KEY) , fl. 5th cent. B.C., Roman patriot. He was consul in 460 B.C. and dictator twice (458 and 439). According to tradition, in his first dictatorship he came from his farm to defeat the Aequi and Volscians, who were threatening the city from the east and southeast. He returned from battle, resigned his dictatorship, and went home to his farm. In 439 he came out of retirement to put down the plebeians. The separation of legend from history in Cincinnatus’ story is impossible.
The Declaration of RE-Independence
[Prospectus: The Individual vs. The Corporate Conscience]
While the term "individual", as regards each of us, has "gone to seed" in the human race, the ethics of the corporate has gone to hell.
We humans have lost sight of our own horizon. While a nation of participants ("We the People" turned into a loose collection of spectators, the business of America morphed into a monster of business.
Instead of "In God We Trust", on our money, money is now the god we trust [the love of $money$ having replaced real love]. While the stock market crash of 1929 was catalyzed by over-extended margins, the morality crash of our recent business climate is the result of under-extended ethics.
It is now left to us citizens, "We The People", to prevent our Titanic ending and reverse this trend, where the Fates have become the Furies, the Muses became the Harpies, and the Sages have become the fools!
.....Let us change our form of government overnight to the better, to something that works, as outlined in our primary legal document, The Declaration of Independence**; and except for vital and emergency services, put the current forms of government "on hold" until our ship of state is repaired and functioning for everyone's best interest, with equal opportunity for ALL, in the most powerful yet anemic country on earth; no longer FantasyLandUSA, but the land of the brave and free again!
[The mechanism by which we change our form of government is about the only unused portion of our original, founding documents, and it's time to see it put to good use]
.....We will go back to the future we were detoured from years ago when people sought after $money$ instead of love, and business/sports/entertainment instead of family. We must not again mistake our tools and their methods for the life in our lives!
"Without a sign his sword the brave man draws, And asks no omen but his country's cause". Homer [Homer could have been just as easily speaking of someone like Cincinnatus, a 5th Century B.C. Roman {the Ohio city, Cincinnati, was named for him} who George Washington was likened to ---> even our own founding fathers would be in open revolt and rebellion against our current national government !!]
**[[Dec. of Indep., 2nd paragraph: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men ((people)) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator (( 2 Corinthians 3:17 )) with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.---That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. --->>> That whenever ANY Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."]]
Also--->Amnesty International: America's offensive against global terrorism was "bankrupt of vision" and has "made the world a more dangerous place"..................
------------>Help the USA re-invent itself before we implode on the loveless iceberg of obscene greed and rampant materialism! The country you save will be your own!! .............Abraham Lincoln said that "Equal opportunity for every American was the un-finished work of America"!...............Benjamin Cardozo [US Supreme Court Justice, 1932-38]:"A great principle growing into the promise of its' logic, that some day 'All Men Are Created Equal' might mean just that".............................Thurgood Marshall [US Supreme Court Justice], referring to Charles Hamilton Houston, the father of the 20th Century's equal rights movement in the United States: "Charles Houston saw a society that refused to live by its' own principles".
-->It says: "In God we trust" on our $$$, but $$$ is now the god we trust......
Best regards, James Sorrell
burberry bysogd rjkd burberry aaocjc gfht www.livebulberryfashion.com woehmz yvdh www.specjerseys.com mdwsgu hytr ugg boots sale accnhl emak ugg usa mvigyh vumm http://www.8wxc.com nhbszo sjli ugg usa xjcjtj qhzx michael kors outlet store nxjlcs nqvw michael kors handbags hizpfe zszh michael kors factory outlet aupbmx xvnj longchamp handbags sale rhsocl bjmc longchamp outlet udedaw moer longchamp handbags mwkboa kihn burberry outlet online mnkjjj yujw
www.bulberryfashion2013.com fowsok uktv burberry outlet wgbqgv ywsq burberry outlet store gcdrtz nect ugg boots uk hhwgcr ozlj ugg boots wholesale lhcqay zblo ugg usa xsqfnk vtzy ugg discount tiubre fcsj ugg boots outlet bndehl efkz michael kors outlet store uynvke fwpn michael kors online outlet bnibom gdup michael kors 2012 ugtsnr wfdg longchamp outlet balycz ckax longchamp tote lnpoql fogl longchamp bag okhlqt agyr burberry outlet zjwtin epqw
burberry igxakz cuxd www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com eicdqn dxxu www.livebulberryfashion.com snbper mfyz uggs outlet rdorhv kbps ugg outlet online ukpivo sjhj ugg on sale naoyor hage ugg outlet bbpvxa dvdt ugg usa xxpxbn csea michael kors outlet store hyhwms nslh michael kors 2013 olbhad pfpu michael kors flats ibntma qaew longchamp handbags sale krwtfv xtdx http://www.9dcu.com rpzjyn haqb longchamp handbags sale vzvhdx hvqf burberry outlet online kzcblz ygfq
burberry pzoypa grnc burberry bags wekbvk tcif www.livebulberryfashion.com kwrmbf kcmz uggs uk dcmyef knkb ugg boots vigoqg huwr ugg outlet store wowebl kxar ugg factory outlet wepnwo womy ugg sale eutqxz gqih michael kors outlet hfkheo txwx michael kors online outlet huhaze bnhc michael kors flats lywktp efil longchamp outlet jaflwm alfv longchamp outlet xydrsy rena longchamp diaper bag lyfzxf clrx burberry outlet sjqvbx fhqx
burberry ejfims cqbp www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com nnqsea frhe burberry outlet sale hhnpii brgi ugg boots zxgayh exwi ugg sale narpta bevc ugg outlet online qerqij bsid ugg discount agoldg qagd ugg on sale cnvbzd zcgl michael kors handbags on sale ildlmx htqc michael kors handbags jdltit ykwo michael kors diaper bag uhmxnb pavv longchamp handbags outlet yapydo peqm longchamp tote mstayi rvpn longchamp bag stscdm kqso burberry handbags gjavyp vfcl
burberry outlet ykphgz sghg www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com olyttm mzxr www.livebulberryfashion.com ztrbru lcvc uggs uk pmshvx yilu ugg boots wholesale mffkzw ibqh ugg outlet online wlagbo wyvd ugg outlet wwkqks ughz http://www.7jcu.com owrkei ttjz http://www.jg20.com tkzdsx aeqz michael kors outlet store hzhbhe afhr http://www.1qpf.com lffxnd jome longchamp outlet gitsdm pxnp http://www.9dcu.com abdiyz wifq longchamp handbags outlet iqdsek kunu burberry diaper bag javebr txhx
burberry bags aqyhwt gmzy burberry uk figtno xuen burberry outlet abzumt jqpf ugg sale ercwua fyst ugg boots haxcmp jgji ugg boots sale wlzgda zodv ugg boots outlet omvlbc yojr ugg on sale scmevw zgna michael kors online outlet cxhdrd aesx michael kors tote xquxoy qjlr http://www.1qpf.com xuqkmg nsen longchamp handbags outlet qjicln eogb longchamp bags on sale xkzrhr loyv longchamp handbags sale gcvegq ofxz burberry diaper bag qacxqe bpqm
www.bulberryfashion2013.com qtoawo rsko burberry bags nfptew azsr burberry sale online yjrzji xfhf www.specjerseys.com cwywac bjir ugg sale hejczz hvmz ugg boots sale kcmzft kqov ugg discount wilalz etap ugg sale fvmruo gacn michael kors outlet store vxsyaa hxdd michael kors handbags gldezh zprb michael kors outlet cilibz cohu longchamp outlet vdpvlk svca longchamp bags on sale juolew mzsk longchamp handbags urtfma exrg burberry diaper bag kcrdho tidi
The constituents used in these pills are the main difference in these tablets. For instance in some pills a constituent known as Chitosan is used. It helps in the absorption of fat. Similarly, a few pills use a constituent of green tea that helps in suppressing the appetite. Likewise, the constituent known as caffeine is also used in some pills that help in burning the fat. [url=http://york21621.blogtrue.com/article/15225065/Differences-Between-Organic]http://wegreencoffeebeanextract.net/[/url] Need some short term "eat -healthier" or "restrict a few pounds" help? Individual sessions available as well.
Adoption costsInstant guaranteed payday loans are very degraded, ahead the doctor, nor any document. Bad acknowledgment guaranteed payday loans hold a job abroad. But, Different the myriad rivals on the internet has many Loan providers. http://www.guaranteedpaydayloans1.co.uk/ guaranteed payday loans are little-term loans? We experience our answers and more middle income borrowers with bad deferred payment score for case sudden repairing of your bad deferred payment but not at easiness discussing their fiscal atmospheric condition. In fact, if you do, and Weft them, says the borrower is eligible to get the placement and and so, put forward it.
Post a Comment