Sunday, February 19, 2006

Niemoller Redux

First they came for the fox hunters
and I did not speak out
for I was not a fox hunter

Then they came for the woman reading the names of dead soldiers in Whitehall
and I did not speak out
'cos she looked like a bit of a hippy really

Then they came for the Brazilian electricians
and I did not speak out
'cos they were still waving those fucking guns around

And then they skipped all the raghead terrorists, psychotic imams, gun-toting yardies, ankle-tagged hoodies and Deputy Prime Ministers who 'forget' to pay their Council Tax
and came straight to me
and said “Put that bloody fag out
don't you know there's a war on?"

And I thought
“Blow this for a game of soldiers”
And moved to North Carolina

Plenty of room over here still, guys…

Some enemies of the State, yesterday.


R. Sherman said...

Two Comments. I remember being shocked when a friend from Leeds asked me, "Do you have a spare fag?" Being from Missouri, and naive at that, I thought "I don't keep any spare homosexuals lying about. What could he mean?"

Second, given your removal to our fine country, do you ever begin discussions with your spouse with the words, "You Americans ....?"


PI said...

Ah but do we know that Mrs Ivan is American? She could be Russian.
We Brits also ask to be knocked up at a certain time when staying in hotels which seems to cause confusion.
Vive la difference say I.
Fancy running out on us Ivan - alas the time has passed for us but my sister and aunt and family are ensconced in the States. And my 90 year old mother emigrated in spite of my pleas!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Pi is very astute and half right, Randall - my wife is in fact Hungarian, a souvenir from the six years I spent in Budapest in the 90s. One of the things one soon learns about the Hungarians is do not under any circumstances confuse them with the Russians.

I do still make the "fag" slip every now and then, but surprisingly few people are confused by it. Or perhaps they just assume all Brits do indeed smoke fags. Rupert Everett has a lot to answer for...

R. Sherman said...

May I then assume that both you and Mrs. Terrible begin conversations with the words, "These Americans . . .?"

Fortunately, your children are now part of us.



Ivan the Terrible said...

The second the kids open their mouths, you know they're pure NC :)

I'm comfortable with that. The boys were born in Paris, and I'm just glad we got them out of there before they started clicking their heels whenever someone shouted at them in German. When I try that with them now, they just laugh at me - a healthy American response...

R. Sherman said...

Heh, Heh. Reminds me of my favorite joke: Why are there so many tree lined streets in Paris?

Answer: So the German Army can march in the shade.


FBT said...

For future reference, most airports have a handy giftshop where souvenirs of your visit can be purchased, such as ashtrays, folk handicrafts and interesting comestibles. It is not always necessary to marry one of the natives in order to provide yourself with fond memories of your sojourn in their country...

Serf said...

I trust your wife does not allow you to go on holiday any more, bearing in mind the type of souvenirs you go for.

Aunty Marianne said...

Ivan - and how long do you think public smoking will be allowed in NC, given the generalised Western European trendsetting?

Oh, I forgot; the tobacco lobby vote and fund the Republicans. Who'll never let it go, not even if they're in opposition.

You've probably got some time then.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Hi Aunty M - sadly there's not much tobacco lobby left here in NC, so I'm afraid we can't blame the Republicans this time. The only cash going on tobacco here is in subsidies for growing something else instead. Paid by the Democratic Governor.