Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Over the rainbow

Uproar in the virtual realms of role-playing-gamers, as a gay guild of gamers is threatened with deletion for advertising for like-minded members. Fortunately, sanity prevails and the administrators back off from this rather silly spat.

I give it about three months before the first Islamist guild pops up demanding their own gameserver environment where they can slaughter virtual gays and molest virtual nine-year-olds in madrassa-approved fashion. As long as it keeps them off the streets I say go for it.

More worrying for me is the thought of gay gamers. What the hell is the point of being gay if you’re going to spend all day inside with the drapes drawn? Gays are creative and outgoing and fun. No-one needs a gay nerd. Poor hygiene? Pasty skin? Unkempt appearance? Even – dare one say it – hairy balls? No no no – these are not the things for which we look to our GLBT community. Snap out of it, guys and gals and those travelling all points in between. Turn off the computer and go frolic in the real world.

I must admit that I have never played an RPG (which when I was a lad meant rocket propelled grenade) – so I might be missing something here. But I doubt it. And it all smacks of selfishness to me, abandoning the barricades of hum-drum reality which Anglicans like me are busy defending on their behalf.

We Anglicans embrace wholeheartedly the concept that homosexuals have a right to play prominent roles in modern society. But with rights come responsibilities, and we’re counting on the rainbow brigade to live up to theirs. For a start, if these digital Dorothies don’t put their PlayStations down soon, we’re going to run out of Bishops…


It’s fun to stay at the YYYY-M-C-A, it’s fun to stay at the YYYY-M-C-A-AY…

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't get it--if "a gay guild of gamers is threatened with deletion", there must be some Jesus-squad at work behind all this. Only they would bother so much with such trifles. But really, among gamers, Jesus-freaks are a very tiny, extremely lame minority. I mean, have you seen their graphics? Have a look at thsi page:

http://www.christiancomputergames.net/

Oh, BTW, while you're at it, why don't you give one of their best-seller a try--it's called "Catch the Bible". And no, I ain't kidding. An angel flitters by and drops bibles, and you're supposed to catch them. Yeah, it doesn't get much lamer than that.

So, to return to our gay friends, I ask: cui prodest? Who is pulling the strings of this odious witch-hunt, to use the language of the best tabloids?

As for 'moderate' imams who'd like to emulate their prophet and fondle 9-year olds undisturbed, that sounds like the Catholic Church to me. D'you think they're in it together? Both are, after all, religions of the Book. Heh.

--Desargues

Ivan the Terrible said...

Hi Des. Well, they always say the Devil has all the best tunes, so why should graphics be any different? That's why I try to avoid those Evangelical Christian ghettos like the game sites you reference - it drives a desperate cycle of holier-and-less-threatening-than-thou that results in stuff even a three-year-old would find tame. Better to engage with society than hide from it - which brings us back to the original point of the post.

But as a matter of fact, it was uptight PC administrators who objected to any guild excluding members on grounds of sexuality, and considering the use other groups might make of the precedent you can see their point. Christians, on the whole, don't care about gays, and those who do are safely exiled to the wacko fringe.

I shan't comment re the Catholics, except to say that when Catholic pederasts did their damage, they couldn't point to justification in their scripture, unlike their Muslim confreres.

BTW - just yesterday came across a comment of yours from some time ago wondering if something I said about tortuous phraseology referred to your English. Sorry I missed that - the answer is no: it was me I meant. I hadn't even spotted that you were not a native speaker, so congrats on your English skills :)

Anonymous said...

That's very kind of you, Tsar. You may be a fierce Russian lord, but somehow they must have taught you British manners.

It's true that, unlike the followers of the Arabian shepherd, disciples of the Aramaic carpenter can't easily justify their lust for the little'uns on scriptural grounds. And yet...

"But Jesus said, Suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for to such belongeth the kingdom of heaven."

All you need is an astute biblical exegete (Society of Jesus, anyone?) to twist these passages and there you have it: Cardinal Law and his entire host of frolicking priests become holier than Mother Theresa.

[Obviously, I'm making an outrageous point; I don't really believe in it--but that's a bit beside the point here; biblical passages have been used to justify all sorts of enterprises].

--Des.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Ivan, are your kids into rave music? Then you can teach them about the Middle East--the fun way:

http://www.glumbert.com/media/rave.html

It's really side-splitting.

--Des.

Ivan the Terrible said...

My kids are too young for rave, but I found it pretty catchy. Thanks for forwarding...

R. Sherman said...

You're right about the Devil and tunes. That's why one should invite at least one gay guy to every party, and make him be responsible for bringing the dance music.

Cheers.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I got a message from an angry lesbian last year. She was responding to this post.

Ivan the Terrible said...

And is your arse hairy? I thought gorilla butts were pretty bald. I shall decline the cheap-shot comparison with the butts of butch lesbians, out of pure goodness of heart...