Pausing only for a cold shower or two, the Majlis has finally hit upon the solution – combine military training with summary justice in the form of the new Khomeini™ brand “interactive” rifle range targets.
Women’s groups throughout the Western world rushed to ignore this latest development yesterday. “We feel it’s inappropriate to condemn another culture” explained Natalie Broadhead of Wimmin’s Action Against Male Oppression, idly kicking a man in the nuts for holding the door open for her. “It’s essentially a form of imperialism, which is an exclusively male crime of course. Anyway, those guys look a bit nasty. They’d be burning our offices before you could say clitorectomy. I think we’ll stick to pushing shit through Larry Sommers’ mailbox, if it’s all the same to you…”
Unveiling the new targets in Tehran yesterday, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared the Khomeini™ “a great day for the Islamic Republic”. “Of course, this is only a first step. Just wait ‘til we have nukes – we’ll be able to chastise these wicked females in bulk then, as Allah intended.”
Mr Ahmadinejad went on to plug three in a row through the X ring, winning a giant teddy bear for the “nephew” accompanying him.
Update! If, like our good friend Des, you are one of those deranged individuals with quite unfathomable and irrational prejudices against hanging rape victims, why not go here and sign the petition to save the poor lass? At the very least, they will know that they are being watched...
43 comments:
I can see clearly in that photo that one of these women is flagrantly exposing her pretty wrists and therefore wantonly inflaming the groins of all the men around her. Speaking as a housewife who always keeps her wrists modestly enmuffed (if that's not an oxymoron), I think raping and point-blank execution is too good for the hussies.
My husband becomes enraged if he sees me answer the door to male house-callers without my wrist-muffs. If he sees the postman looking at my saucy wrists he immediately orders me to get back to my naked vacuuming where a Socal housewife belongs.
Is that moving targets in the picture, or is it a fierce squad of Muslim female dispensers of revolutionary justice?
But seriously, what the fucking fuck is wrong with those people? Looks like that unshaven creep Ahmadinejad is begging for someone to JDAM some sense into him.
You can get your whole wrist into your muff, Sam? That I'd like to see. No wonder your husband wants to keep you to himself.
I think we know what's wrong with them Des. As the Muslim Brotherhood slogan has it, "Islam is the Answer"...
Bit blue, that, Ivan!
What does JDAM mean? It sounds good, and just what Ahmadinejad needs, but I like to know what punishments are being inflicted in my name.
Crikey, Mr. T! Blue indeed. I did, I guess, set up the joke with my oxymoronic 'modestly enmuffed' construction though, and did have a slight "erm" twinge as I typed it and upon posting I thought "erm" again, but then decided to be more interested to see who would jump on it first. As it were. God, I can speak no pure this morning, it seems. I've been reading Gordon Maclean's pornography post I blame him, entirely for my fall and undoing.
Anyway, I too want to know what JDAM means.
It's a bomb with a gps device strapped to it. Fuck-all good if you want to bomb Birmingham or Slough (and who doesn't?)- roundabouts you see. I reckon the magic roundabout in slough is capable of making any technology the us military has go 'beep, fizzle' and never work again.
JDAM: Joint Direct Attack Munition. Thanks, Rob, for explaining it better than either of the sites I looked at.
Of which this was the better of the two
First round of them smart bombs sponsored by Gillette--the best a Muslim madman can get. Looks like he could really use it.
Tha's right, Des. We know where he needs it, and Sam has bravely shown us the way. Or at least signposted it for us.
Rob, it's no coincidence that black holes like Birmingham and Slough are surrounded by GPS-disabling contrivances. It's their natural defence mechanisms kicking in - otherwise we'd have bombed 'em flat years ago. Not to mention that the entire population would leave if only they could find the way out.
Those tent-like costumes are a licence for debauchery. A woman could sneak a whole midget into one of those.
It's beginning to sound like Sam doesn't even need the gown for that, GB. Another way in which the West marches ahead of Islam in all fields of worthwhile human endeavour...
Blue indeed!
Hands off Slough and Birmingham. I get hits every day from them and beggars can't be choosers.
Ivan, other than the obvious, of interest in your link was the following quote:
"Nazanin, who was 17 years old at the time of the incident, said that after the three men started to throw stones at them, the two girls’ boyfriends quickly escaped on their motorbikes leaving the pair helpless."
Per your prior post on our northern cousins, I'm sure we all can't wait for the day that Sharia makes an appearance in our fair land, as a sop to cultural relativism.
Cheers.
Makin' fun of those vile shits is cool, but you can go here to do something concrete for that poor girl. Well, it's not as concrete as giving Cheney sniper training and sending him to Tehran, but it's a beginning.
Hi Randall - yes, the men over there sound like real prizes, don't they?
Des - good find, will do.
Thanks Des - have done so. Good job you learnt how to do the blue underline thingys. Maybe one day.
I just clicked on your original link, Ivan (I hadn't even bothered to before, for some reason) and realized that this was actually about a real live woman in real peril. Crap. I think, in light of the topic, my first comment was a bit cavalier and off-colour. Sorry, people. That'll teach me to pay more attention.
Des, I'm off to follow your link now. Well found.
No worries, Sam - everyone enjoys a cheap muff joke. And this is truly one of those cases where you have to laugh or else you cry...
Thanks a bunch for taking the trouble, folks. Also: there's a little comments box on the web page where you sign the petition. Don't forget to tell those ayatollahs that they ought to be ashamed of themselves for this. Should you be of a more fiery disposition, like me, you could also tell them that the laser-guided bomb that's gonna incinerate them is just coming off the assembly line. USA, baby! Yeah!
IVAN; NEWS FLASH;-CONDOLEZA IS GETTING ENGAGED TO JACK STRAW - AIN'T IT SWEET1
PAT
She can do waaaaaay better, Pi. I know Jack Straw from twenty years back, and he was a spineless weasel even then. My guess is that he's just dazzled in the presence of actual talent and integrity.
But you were supposed to fall for my April Fool jape.
Drat!
My college publishes a weekly newsletter; last year's April 1st issue carried a front-page article claiming our school had finally been allowed to join the Ivy League. The headline had an air of verisimilitude about it, so I totally fell for it. I could already see myself in a few years lounging on thick leather couches in Manhattan with other university alumni, sipping Calvados and puffing on big cigars. When I realized it was a hoax, I nearly sat down and cried. This year, Jon Stewart comes to speak at the graduation ceremony.
So all's well that ends well, eh, Des? I'd sooner have Jon Stewart than Poison Ivy any day.
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