Thursday, March 23, 2006

Synchronicity at work

I’m impressed and a little alarmed at the results of our exciting swearathon yesterday, as the profanities pour in. Sterling nominations are received from Afrikaans, French, and a couple more from Hungarian, courtesy of arch-swearmeister Des. Check out the comments of yesterday’s post for details.

We had some brave attempts on the bonus question, too, to complete the phrase “I think swearing is both big and clever because” in ten words or less, as follows:

…because it’s good for reducing blood pressure.
…because my parents were against it.
…because provides a relief denied even to prayer.
…because it offends humans
…because it takes balls to go 'fuck!'

But to my mind not even Des’ valiant effort could match the winner of the same competition run by Viz magazine a few years back:

I think swearing is both big and clever because I’m a cunt.

That’s worthy of the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square, if you ask me.

In the course of my noble and disinterested research into the topic, I stumble across the explanation for the Hungarians’ fixation with the mighty lófasz:

lófasz a seggedbe!(phrase) ‡ horse's prick into your ass! note This is one of the most popular Hungarian curses, with a very interesting history. Hungary was under Turkish occupation for 160 years (from 1526 to 1686).The most frequent Turkish method of execution was impaling. The Turkish word for "stake" was "lopat”. Thus some 400 years ago, a Hungarian, wishing something very bad upon his neighbor, said; "lopat a seggedbe" (i.e. a stake in your ass). As the word "lopat" fell into disuse it was replaced by "lófasz", a word of almost identical pronounciation.

In other news, Donald Trump is moved to share more of his inimitable genius with us, on the birth of his latest child Barron…

“I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young."

Donald, I think I speak for us all when I say menjel mar az anya picsajaba lófasszal a seggedben te hulye szar.


Donald Trump yesterday, forever young. The optimist believes immortality will be discovered before they die. A pessimist knows it’ll be discovered before Donald does.

9 comments:

Foot Eater said...

Ah, Viz. Lazy summer mornings on the beach at Whitley Bay, a bottle of Newcastle Broon in one hand and the latest exploits of Sid the Sexist in the other. Great days.

Desargues said...

My innate optimism prompts me to believe the elixir of immortality will be discovered AFTER The Donald kicks the bucket. This has to be true. After all, this world is not the work of a malevolent god.

Ivan the Terrible said...

At least if immortality is discovered before Trump dies it'll be a lot cheaper to buy. After all, there'll be a lot less demand for it among the rest of the population.

Rob said...

You really don't need Viz if you're on the beach at Whitley Bay though. You are already in it.

PI said...

Was it GB Shaw who reckoned that people who swear a lot have a paucity of vocabulary - or words to that effect.
I swear more than I should as a - whatever I am - but there are some words I can't bring myself to use and a hell of a lot that come out unbidden.
Re Trump - our Sir Alan Sugar beats him into a tin hat in 'The Apprentice.' He's divine!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Alan Sugar? Ewwwww! I'm very disappointed in you, Pi...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

pi - I have to disagree. I think Mr. Trump trumps Mr. Sugar by a squeak, if only for his je ne sais wtf? factor.

Ivan the Terrible said...

You chicks are weird.

Aunty Marianne said...

If we're talking businessmen give me that Jan Asgeir bloke who owns Baugur anytime.

Phhhwaooooooooooaaaar.