After nine years of struggle – and achievement, of course, mustn’t forget all the achievements – we are happy to report that Tony Blair has finally secured his legacy. Britain is at long-last truly “at the heart of Europe”!
Of course, long gone are the days when British pensions groaned under the weight of their unnecessary surpluses, the private sector cried out for lack of swaddling regulation, and a mere 37% of GDP was spent by the wise and kindly State. Gordon soon took care of those problems with the efficiency and focus for which he is justly famed. There’s nothing that can’t be solved by an extra 800,000 civil servants and a tax rate higher than Germany’s.
But despite these terrific advances towards European norms, Britain continued to lag on the purely political front – lacking truly corrupt, self-serving politicos and the sort of network of patronage and mutual protection that the French and the Italians do so well. Above all, we didn’t have that sine qua non of the modern, healthy EU-standard political system, a lively mainstream Nazi party.
But no more. The long wait is over, and the keystone on Tony’s Arc de Triomphe finally lowered into place. A mere nine years of New Labour have turned Britain from a dynamic economy of free individuals into an overtaxed, overregulated, dirigiste ethnic swamp where formerly decent people vote for scum like the British National Party out of sheer anger and frustration. Just like in France, Belgium, Germany, Holland…
Thanks, Tony. Thanks a lot. A fine legacy to leave your children. Tell you what – they can have my kids’ share too. Can’t say fairer than that.
Now that, like an aging superhero, his work here is done, perhaps he’ll finally finally fuck off and leave us to start clearing up the mess.
The new face of British politics, yesterday. The inheritance tax bill on that one is sure to sting…