Thursday, May 04, 2006

Vote Early, Vote Often

By my reckoning, the people of Britain have exactly five hours left to express their deep and abiding love of Tony Blair and his noble New Labour Knights. Paragons all. Don't you wish you could spend all day voting for them? Sadly, only Sinn Fein supporters and ethnic "community leaders" from the Midlands with suitcases full of fraudulent postal votes are allowed to vote more than once, and what with one thing and another neither group are natural Labour voters right now.


We mere mortals will have to take up the slack. If you haven't voted yet, look into the eyes of the Blairs, here - so loveable and trustworthy - and do the right thing. Remember all the good times. Wonder idly how much her hair cost this time. Laugh a little over the antics of that loveable rascal Two Shags, and the hospital that doesn't have any patients 'cos the PFI contract took up all the budget and they can't afford any staff.

Concentrate on the nine years of achievements instead of the nine days of headlines. Yes, the achievements. You know the ones he means. Yes, those ones.

Now off you go and vote.


Tony, yesterday. Tony is our friend...

14 comments:

R. Sherman said...

I trust you voted absentee. (How much fun did you have sorting through the googled Blairs, searching for just the right ones which capture their true spark.

Well done.

Cheers

Ivan the Terrible said...

Yes, they're quite a pair, aren't they? We shall not see their like again. And soon, with any luck.

Desargues said...

You'd think Cherie could have spared some of that 7,000-plus quid she spent on her hair to buy Tony a box of whitening strips. He really perpetuates some of the worst cliches walking around with those yellowish teeth. Plus, they make an awful contrast with those fancy bespoke suits he's always donning.

I say, even if he had any major accomplishments, no one should be allowed to stay in power more than nine years. After all, Britain is not Belarus--or not yet. Out with the old, in with...what? David Cameron?

Ivan the Terrible said...

"In with the David Cameron"? You certainly know how to lighten the mood, Des.

I don't think "Dave" would touch the job right now even if it was up for election. Let Gordon stew in the juices of his own fiscal insanity for a couple of years first, until the stench of failure is unavoidable. By then, even a weathervane like Cameron will look good by comparison.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

The trouble with British politics is that everybody has moved to the center and it's now a bit crowded there with everybody rushing in to climb the flagpole and point whichever way they think people want to go; your weathervane comment was spot on. That's certainly not leadership. Leaders tell us their ideas and convince us they're good ones; it ought not be the other way around.

Moderation is well and good and I describe myself as a passionate moderate on lots of things and don't consider it an oxymoron. But it means there is no longer any real alternative to the party of power. Politics comes down to how many babies, preferably brown and/or with two mummies, you can pose awkwardly with.

In the US on the other hand we're growing poles apart. The difference is religion. US politics and religion skip merrily hand in hand down the aisle whereas The Defenders of The Faith in Britain have been so manifestly unholy, and our historical religious divisions so bloody we all gave up on state arguments about religion years ago. I have no basis for saying so really except for guessing it's our history that has probably beaten us into heathens.

Apart from the NHS mess, I can't see that Gordon Brown has ballsed it up that badly. That said my eye is not on the British headlines as often as I'd like so I may have missed something. He has a guiding hand on the public purse, sure, but I doubt the ability of any one man to affect the larger economic circumstances. I've always assumed that was one of the porkies politicians tell us to show they have things more under control than they possibly can - Can one man can take responsibility for the whole bang show? Can he? I'm no economist so feel free to put me right.

I'm not allowed to vote in Britain any more, having not been resident there for 9 years. Neither am I allowed to vote here 'cos I'm not a citizen yet. I am a thoroughly disenfranchised person. If I marched down the road would anyone care about my army of one? Nope. I am left to rail impotently on the internet with no voting power whatsoever.

In that photo Tony looks like Jack Nicholson's "Here's Johnny!" bit in The Shining. Devilishly good find, Ivan.

Off to see how it's gone today in Britain.

Desargues said...

So I see the BNP won some major seats in a place called Barking. Somehow, that seems rather fitting.

Aunty Marianne said...

Ivan, I'd have voted if I wasn't disenfranchised.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Welcome to my world, Aunty :)

Cantemir said...

Sam,

The Defenders of The Faith in Britain have been so manifestly unholy, and our historical religious divisions so bloody we all gave up on state arguments about religion years ago. I have no basis for saying so really except for guessing it's our history that has probably beaten us into heathens.

I disagree. One wouldn't look at the Attlee government, for instance, and call it irreligious; rather, without the Methodists and so forth, it would have been a two-legged stool. Irreligion in Britain is the child of political correctness and the liberal project, not shame over the murder of Campion or the Crusades. I defy the Guardian editorial board to tell me, without peeking, the difference between the first and the fourth Crusades. Well, but then war is bad because people get hurt, isn't it? Every bien-pensant knows that religion causes wars, such as World War I and World War II, fought over the Papal succession and the conversion of the Jews, respectively.

No, this won't do. The Thirty Years' War didn't destroy Christianity in Europe, which it should have by this thesis. The patient did not die; he was murdered.

Cantemir said...

Er, didn't commit suicide. I blame the coffee around here.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Canty! Good to have you back. Good point too, I must say. In religion as with anything else, people pick their position and then pick their facts to fit. Certainly lefties are masters of that art, if only because they have so few suitable "facts" to work with...

Cantemir said...

Janka,

Thanks, glad to be back now and again.

nailpolishblues said...

I'd never noticed how like Yoda Tony Blair had become...
The first pic..

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