Monday, August 14, 2006

40% of people “would lie to pollsters” – Poll

Shock and awe as Money Magazine reveals that men will lie to their wives about big purchases, and women about small ones. Not that size is important, of course. Or so I am assured.

Frankly, I find all these statistics equally bogus. All the various options on offer ultimately boil down to the same question – namely, “how much do you lie to your beloved life partner, you weaselly slimeball/chiselling bitch?”

I might pay more attention if there was some indication as to what percentage of the population would make a purchase under $100 without telling their spouse and then give some random pollster the finger? That figure is sadly not supplied…


A pollster, yesterday. Could you lie to those puppy-dog eyes?

14 comments:

Life of a Banana said...

It's in human nature to lie. However, it's scary when one starts to believe in one's own lies.

It doesn't matter if you lie to your partner because "Love means never having to say you're sorry".

R. Sherman said...

I always thought asking for forgiveness is easier than asking for permission.

BTW, I get around the problem by having things delivered to the office. I hold them there for a month then bring them home. When the EMBLOS asks, "Did you just get that?" I can reply, "No. I've had that for a while, now."

Cheers.

Desargues said...

I lie to pollsters all the time. One has to achieve some balance, you know. I claimed to be one among the 33% left in this country who like G Dubs. Recently, I pretended to be a woman and lied to Kraut on the phone when I told him I don't care for regular sex when I'm in a stable relationship. Lies, all lies.

But I didn't shoot the deputy -- I swear to the American people, I did NOT lie on this poll.

Ivan the Terrible said...

LOAB - in my experience, love means having to say you're sorry all the time, if only for a little peace.

Randall - shame on you. I couldn't use that ploy here at Virtucon anyway, as Shipping and Receiving would just steal the lot, the thieving pikeys.

And Des, rest easy - lying to Germans doesn't count, silly boy...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Exit polls often don't tally with actual results as voters feel disinclined to tell real flesh and blood person who they voted for. Fair enough, secret ballot and whatnot, but it makes you question how accurate any of these polls are, and yet our politicians are in thrall to them. Gore tied himself into a pretzel trying to mirror what he though the polls were telling him. It's alarming that they have that much influence.
We all like having our opinions asked of us but, politically speaking, polling seems to be a case of electoral massage carried too far.

lemuel said...

I never lie to a pollster, I just growl at them and move on.

Also, 47.84% of statistics are made up o the spot.

Ahem, never mind.

PI said...

does it count if you lie by omission. You've lost/misplaced one of the many beautiful rings he has given you but don't tell him?

Desargues said...

Do you think these people also lied to their pollsters? If yes, that gives rise to a bit of a conundrum--should they show contrition for having told a lie, or make penance for having lusted after some virtual flesh?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Pi - don't beat yourself up. Wives, like doctors, should seek first to do no harm. Your case is surely the whitest of white lies.

And Des, that poll just shows that Christians are more honest, not that they're more addicted...

Thomas Pauli said...

And, I tell you as a Cretean, all Creteans lie!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Thank you, Socrates, and good night!

Desargues said...

How 'bout some systematic lying, then? Do you still think that landing on the Moon really happened?

Next thing you know, they're gonna tell us they can't find the proof the Earth is round, either. Damn scientists. Crooks and liars, all of'em.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Aren't most lies about sex? The man's big purchase might be a night spent with a call girl and the woman's small one could be a vibrator. Poll data always makes sense if you analyse it carefully.

Ivan the Terrible said...

What category would a small call girl fall under, GB? Or, Heaven forbid, a really big vibrator?