A colleague of mine sees fit to bore me with her life plan for the next five years. As far as I can tell from what little I cannot avoid absorbing while pointedly playing solitaire at her, this master plan consists of
a) systematically eliminating every last Hostess candy bar in existence, and
b) acquiring cats.
At the end of said five years this activity would somehow result in professional success, a charming and wealthy husband, and some kids.
This seems to me to be pretty thin stuff. But I forbear to comment, as I am firmly in favour of planning generally and do not wish to discourage her feeble feminine efforts. Also she might start talking again, and then I’d have to kill her, dump the body, clean the carpet, construct an alibi, and so on. That’s too much like manual labour for my taste.
I love it when a plan comes together. My personal favourite has always been the Schlieffen Plan. I used to ask other people to name their favourites, and when they started answering I'd shriek "I'm askink ze qvestionz here!" in my best German accent. I considered it my humble homage to Alfred Graf von Schlieffen, but the magistrate considered it common assault. And that's why I have a restraining order.
Ironically, a little more planning on my part would probably have been helpful there.
So, go ahead then – what’s your favourite plan?
Alfred Graf von Schlieffen, yesterday – a man before his time.