Monday, August 28, 2006

Neither a lender nor a borrower be

A touch of the Green-Eyed Monsters this morning, as we read of an unnamed 56-year-old who has somehow accumulated 57 credit cards, and a total debt of £416,000.

Apparently this fiscally-challenged individual managed to max out each and every one of these cards on fried chicken and lottery tickets, and then sat around watching daytime TV until the bailiffs turned up.

What a criminal waste. Why must it always be retards like this who get handed these golden opportunities? If I had 57 credit cards and nearly three quarters of a million dollars to play with, I’d just use a few hundred to buy a new identity, and disappear. After that my only worry would be how much to fritter away on having people killed.

But there we are. It’s all a matter of perverse incentives. In the end, credit card companies make their money off of those too stupid to compare interest rates, so they’re not motivated to hand them out to conservative types like me.

Strange that a government so keen to meddle in every other sphere of personal life should be so loath to enforce a little discipline in this one. But then again, maybe it’s not so strange after all…


An unnamed 53-year-old, yesterday, having trouble managing his loans. Alas - sad double-whammy - he’s also morally bankrupt.

13 comments:

Desargues said...

Or you could, like some American congressmen, run for office, and then have lobbyists pay for your lavish lifestyle. Fried chicken and day-time TV are so working class!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Well hey - he's a "Duke", so I guess he had a certain sense of entitlement...

Where do you get a nickname like "Duke" from, anyway? Do you have to sign up for one somewhere?

Desargues said...

Probably the snivelling toadies he surrounded himself with bestowed the moniker on him -- nothing pleases a master more than having his boots licked, I suppose.

But what I like is that, in the true demotic spirit of America, his nickname was swiftly downgraded to 'The Dukester.'

Ivan the Terrible said...

And now from Dukester to Dumpster. Nothing like a nice dose of meritocracy in action...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Corruption heaped upon ineptitude heaped upon a Dumpster: the government at work and play.

Thomas Pauli said...

Who said that republicans describe government as bad, and, when elected, prove it?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Sounds like PJ O'Rourke to me. But he might just have been quoting someone too...

Aunty Marianne said...

The monochrome arthouse movie "Clerks" was apparently funded by 7 credit cards. I believe it made its money back several times over.

Interesting way of getting funding though.

Gorilla Bananas said...

He was probably too fat to disappear. I expect his plan was to bury the credit cards in his back garden when the bailiffs came knocking.

staghounds said...

When my stepfather was dying with cancer, he ran his credit cards up to their maxima with cash advances just before the end. Total was like $120,000.

My mother received MANY calls telling her that she was responsible for the payments. She just said "show me where I signed a contract..."

Although my favourite was dropping the leased Mercedes off at the dealership the day after he died, they went crazy.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Hmmm - ethically suspect, Stags, but I must say I admire his chutzpah. Maybe I should start taking out all the cards I get offered (currently around four a week)? If your step-dad is any guide, they might be an elegant substitute for the life insurance my smoker's status keeps denying me...

Debt Help said...

Get your free no hassle debt consolidation quote today Student loan consolidation home loans, Mortgage refinancing, and Home equity line of credit
Lower your monthly payments and get out of debt in less than half the timePay less monthly and get rid off all your high interest bills today, get your free quote and regain control over your finances.

Anonymous said...

tramadol online order tramadol 100mg - tramadol 50mg vs tylenol 3