Wednesday, August 16, 2006

47% of Frenchmen “very stupid” says Le Monde

A sad day for France, as Libération publishes a poll wherein 47% of Frenchmen declare Jacques Chirac’s presidency to have been good for France. Even the spineless, poetry-spouting euro-trash aristo Dominique de Villepin garners a quite unjustified 36% approval rating. Has the heat gone to their smoke-addled heads?

Le Monde speculates that the unexpectedly strong showing of the French national soccer team in Germany might have inspired the voters to take a more benign view of their slimy leaders. Crook, tax cheat, fiddler of state funds to pay for a mistress and child in Japan – all is apparently forgiven as long as les bleus can still poke a winner past Portugal in extra time.

I suppose we should be grateful that they lost the final, or we might be stuck with that insufferable prick for yet another five years. Just don’t get me started on the horrible implications if England had won…

"Have you noticed how we only win the World Cup under a Labour Government?"


Villepin blue, Chirac whiter-than-white.

20 comments:

Thomas Pauli said...

Poor French! Always occupied with the fear that the heavens might fall on their head! They might be thankful for someone with some grandeur, even it's only the size of his mouth, or, helpwise, his pockets!

Ivan the Terrible said...

Chirac is more Caesar than Asterix, I'm afraid. It's one of his many, many failings...

Life of a Banana said...

Oh dear,,,poor Frenchies. I guess I can call them psuedo-intellectuals now,,,walking around with a plunger up their arses. hahhah

Desargues said...

In light of your previous post, and of the fact that Chirac's approval ratings hover somewhere in the high teens now (he once went as low as 13% -- take that, Nixon!), one has to conclude that about 27% of Frenchcreatures are unashamed liars. Or maybe they're being ironic, who knows; these days, irony is all you can learn in a French university.

As to Prime Minister Kieferton, the national lesson to be learned is that men with flamboyant hair and a penchant for soporific rhyming make bad public officials. The fact that he hasn't been sacked yet is an inexplicable mystery. Maybe their chattering classes should chew on that one.

PI said...

I had a French boy friend once. He wasn't stupid - a brilliant artist, outrageous and paranoid. Now I think of it not unlike Picasso who was, of course, Spanish. Now whatever happened to that nude?

Ivan the Terrible said...

"whatever happened to that nude?"

That puts me in mind of the joke about a Bishop wanting to recapture his youth - "who had escaped that morning"...

Aunty Marianne said...

I'm sorry, but....

Dominique de Villepin...

FWOOOOOOOAAAAARGGGGHHHHH.

He SO suaaaaaaaave.

R. Sherman said...

I thought the French loved this guy.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Aunty, have you lost your rainstick? Sarkozy looks like he'd have plenty of stamina though.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Des - no fair, mocking the French like that. You know they only take orders from Hizbollah so their cars don't get torched back home. Have you seen their insurance premiums, lately?

And girls - Aunty definitely needs her medication dialled back if she thinks petit Dom has anything to offer between the sheets.

Sarko is definitely the better bet, but there's something terrier-like about the man, no? Hard to imagine how that might be attractive. Would he go down, or would he just start scrabbling at the threshhold, so to speak, trying to unearth a rabbit? You can just imagine him down there, growling and tugging away with those needle-sharp teeth...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

If it came down to Villepin or Sarkozy (I couldn't picture him - had to look him up) I have to say I'm with Auntie. He's got that distinguished looking pattern of graying with the silvery bits at his temples.

Which reminds me of something Billy Connelly said of his own hair graying pattern. "These days I'm very distinguished down there. In the right light, my willy looks like Stewart Granger."

Ivan the Terrible said...

Truer than he knows. In real life, Stewart Granger was tiny.

Desargues said...

Careful what you write about Sarkozy, Ivan. He's half Hungarian, you know, and if Mrs Terrible finds out that you depicted one of her illustrious contemporaries as a furrowing terrier--erm, I dunno, maybe you'll have to pull out that folding couch in the living room. (again?)

Aunty M's enthusiasm for the grizzled statesmanly poetaster make me ponder, like Freud, the inscrutable mystery of what women want. True, he's got enough hair, for his age, to make many a man turn green with envy; and he's still slender enough to make Ronald McDonald sputter with rage. But have you seen a close-up of him? He's got droopy eyes--suggestive of a metaphysical sadness, if you're a Francophile; a lack of deep thoughts, if you're an Anglo-Saxon. And his mouth is positively repulsive--it makes me think of a perverted teenager grown old in his vice.

Too many innocent women still fall for that myth of the distinguished middle-age French male, a literary creation that needs to be put to rest forever. I suspect it originates with Alexandre Dumas pere (or, as a character in an American movie pronounces it, Alexander Dumbass).

Q : What's a safe place to hide a treasure?

A : Under Frenchman's soap.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I heard that Chirac dislikes Napoleon, so I give him credit for that. Isn't Sarkozy a cuckold, poor fellow?

Ivan the Terrible said...

A cuckold? A cuckold? Those Parisians spend every free moment crawling all over each other like crabs in a bucket, GB. You might as soon apply that tag to some leg-humping mongrel for all it would mean to them...

PI said...

Dear Stewart (Grsnger)! Do you know in those days we kissed with our mouths closed. So much nicer and quite difficult for Stu who had asthma.
Happy days!
BTW saw Billy Connolly on the boat to Arran - he has devil's eyes.

Ivan the Terrible said...

The Devil's eyes and a Stewart Granger cock. I'm surprised he felt the need to tell jokes, really. Sounds like a riot just looking at him.

f:lux said...

French opinion polls are obviously as messy as their electoral ones - afterall, Le Pen was a serious contender at the last presidentials. The number of French socialists I knew who suddenly found themselves in the position of having to vote for Chirac if they didn't want a nazi for head of state... Almost funny, but not quite.

I defy anyone to find Le Pen sexy, other than passing Vogons.

Ivan the Terrible said...

I prefer my Fascists more like Alessandra Mussolini, myself.

Freaky Slapper said...

Ah la vache! I was disappointed to see that only 47% of french males were very stupid. I wonder if the other 53% were too thick to actually take part in the poll?