The BBC scores yet another victory over the forces of evil as its new “diversity czar” (sic) berates the news team for hiring too many white faces.
Obviously, in these enlightened times, it goes without saying that it is somehow wrong that the faces on TV should in any way reflect the population of the country that employs them. If they’re white, that is. It might not be immediately clear as to why that is, but we can take it on trust, because a ridiculously overpaid professional grievance-monger has told us so.
But the BBC is on the case! Before you know it we’ll have a steady diet of Hutu genocidaires reporting on sub-saharan Africa, and sword-waving jihadists providing the latest updates from Samara. If none of those fascist bourgeois types who actually pay their TV licence fees can understand a word they’re saying, so much the better for “diversity”.
In any case, what such people lack in English language skills they generally make up for in body language, especially throat-cutting gestures of the unmistakable ear-to-ear variety.
But why stop there? Enough of this anthropomorphic chauvinism, I say! Let’s skip the minorites, and have the evening news presented entirely by squirrels rounded up from the bushes outside Broadcasting House. That’ll teach us…
“And now on the BBC, the News for the Deaf.”