Friday, June 09, 2006

Ivan’s Site of the Week

A worthy winner this week in the form of Inside Cheerleading Magazine, the reading of which should probably be an arrestable offence for any male over the age of 20.


Want to know what it takes to make the national championships? Need tips on praising the Lord through pom-poms? Unsure of the best technique for getting your ankles behind your ears in a standard bathroom cubicle at the after-game party? Then “Inside Cheerleading” is the magazine for you.

If only there were more wholesome publications like this, presenting positive role models to those impressionable young females just starting out in life. Then perhaps these poor girls might not have gone so spectacularly astray…


The Nov/Dec 2005 edition, yesterday, with a Coach’s Corner special on “Motivating the Cheerleader who says NO”. In the NFL, that usually comes down to either a slap or a glass of rohypnol.

14 comments:

lemuel said...

I am sure there is some sort of spin-off site like "Inside Cheerleaders" somewhere in this world wide web. Mind looking into it?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Cheerleaders invent all these new mating positions but never seem to use them. Or if they do, it's about time they let us see.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Do your own dirty work, Lemuel, you disgusting pervert! And then let us all know if you find anything interesting and/or profusely illustrated...

I like the way you think, GB. Why should the full expression of the cheerleader's art be restricted only for the benefit of bling-encrusted corn-rowed neanderthals in college locker rooms? It's time normal people got a look-in. God knows we pay enough for those colleges in our taxes and fees. Share the wealth, I say!

R. Sherman said...

Will .....not .......click .....on ........links.....will.......not .....

Ivan the Terrible said...

Don't fight it, Randall - join us... joooiiiinnnn uuusssss...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Desargues said...

Yes, Anon, but does your site have buxom, lustful cheerleaders?

Ivan the Terrible said...

Sorry, Des - think I spoiled your joke by deleting that bloody advert :)

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

If I remember right the girls in the link got into their imbroglio because one of them had snogged another cheerleader and they were meant to be exclusively snogging each other. I guess you never know what's going on behind all these pompoms.

If the lesbian wrestling cheerleader porn genre had not been invented before, it surely has been now with these two sapphic aesthetic athletes as creative consultants. If neither of them made any money out of the incident, (although i really don't believe they orchestrated it) then this isn't America and all the men were asleep that day.

Ivan the Terrible said...

As a matter of fact, I've never understood the appeal of lesbian porn, Sam. Even with the straight variety it's hard enough to fool yourself that you could credibly insert yourself (so to speak) into the scenario on screen. With lesbians, however, even that fragile fig leaf of fantasy is denied you.

Mind you, I also have the advantage of knowing a lot of real lesbians...

Desargues said...

It is the string of lewd, random associations like this that makes Texas lawmakers crack down on 'suggestive' cheerleading. A cursory look at this comments section proves their point. ;-)

R. Sherman said...

I took the plunge, as it were, and . . .without looking at the pictures, did find some help articles. For example, there was one on how to avoid this situation.

Cheers.

Ivan the Terrible said...

Good thing women are the kinder and gentler sex, eh? God forbid we should see them when they get mean...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Followed the link, Randall. She only served six months of a ten-year sentence? Eh? How does that work?